Cherie: All right, I have to ask. How are these midterms looking?
Aimee: Ha! Bad! Real bad!
Cherie: On a scale from one to ten -
Aimee: With ten being…?
Cherie: The worst.
Aimee: Twenty.
Cherie: That bad?
Aimee: I’m just so glad I was not put in charge of the campaign committee. This can be someone else’s mess.
Kimmy: I love good news! Love it!
Victoria: Aimee, you know it’s not personal when I celebrate the impending death of your political party, right?
Aimee: Yes, of course.
Victoria: Because my god, I am so excited.
Aimee: I know you are. And I understand why, the president is… well… I vote with him 32% of the time. So that says something right there.
Kimmy: Yeah, that you vote with him way too much!
Aimee: I am independently-minded. I vote with Delphy’s position less than any other Republican in the Senate.
Kimmy: Well… you represent Washington. I’d hope so.
Aimee: I must say, I would feel better about our chances of winning if we hadn’t nominated a candidate who called Kansas “the single-worst place on earth” while running IN Kansas. Or if our nominee in Texas wasn’t a slurring, prostitute-soliciting drunkard who cut a sweetheart deal with a domestic abuser simply because he’s related to GOP mega-donors. Or if there weren’t an active movement to boycott the Senate race in Alaska because Liza Montgomery is a “RINO,” which the president himself had co-signed.
Kimmy: Stop, stop. I can only feel so alive!
Aimee: The mood on the hill is… dark. Last week, I saw Geraldine throw her phone at a staffer’s head after seeing a poll from Arkansas. Arkansas, guys.
Cherie: Kimberly, stop smiling. Your sister’s in pain.
Aimee: I know, ain’t it great?
Ernesto: Look, I’m a Republican, I have been my whole life. I’m not voting for two more years of this.
Cherie: Two more years of what, dear? The Democrats already hold the House and Senate. What have they done with that?
Ernesto: I don’t know, I’m just tired of the president bullying our daughter and trying to get her excommunicated!
Victoria: This is no shock… I will also be voting Democrat.
Dave: As will I.
Aimee: All right, this isn’t a Gallup poll, we don’t all need to be sharing how we’re voting. I’ve already got hives thinking about 2028, no need to get me worked up about this year, too. I’ve accepted our fate, it’s fine.
Kimmy: I don’t know why you’re so blindly loyal to this party, anyway. What have they ever done for you?
Aimee: That’s a good question! I think I need a cigarette.
Cherie: You don’t smoke!
Ernesto: I have some cigars, though, if you wa-
Cherie: Ignore your father.
Later that night…
Aimee: Wow, what a late night! 11:30! I didn’t know my parents could still stay up that late!
Dave: They can’t, your mother fell asleep in her chair and your dad went to bed and hour before that without telling us.
Aimee: How did we not notice that?
Dave: It’s not like your mom ever lets him get a word in anyway.
Aimee: Hey! I don’t like the way you just talked about my dear mother. She’s very insightful.
Dave: And bossy, which is fine. Some of us love to be bossed around!
Aimee: I don’t boss you around, do I?
Dave: No, never!
Aimee: Put the TV on, Dave.
Daves: Yes, boss.
News anchor: Again, for those that may have missed it, we have that shocking breaking news from DC: South Carolina senator and staunch ally of President Delphy, Rich Frankel, is dead at sixty-eight. The longtime senator and ranking member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee was returning home from a flight from the Netherlands, where he and other senators were participating in a bipartisan diplomatic meeting with European leaders.
Aimee: Oh my god. I can’t believe it! Rich was so… full of life. Like Liberace!
Dave: I mean, Liberace’s dead.
Aimee: I didn’t mean it that way! I mean more, you know… in a Siegfried and Roy way, or an Elton John way.
Dave: Oh, you mean gay.
Aimee: No, he was flashy, he was a showman. He was larger than life. I never imagined losing him abruptly like this. Heck, I was just talking with him a few days ago about maybe heading down to South Carolina to campaign with him. Doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen.
Dave: It’s really bad enough that you have to work on locking down South Carolina?
Aimee: Yeah…
Dave: Oh honey, I’m so sorry.
Aimee: I’m sort of more upset right now about my friend dying, to be honest.
Dave: I know, you know I struggle to deal with death. It’s such a touchy subject for me.
Aimee: Well, you didn’t know him.
Dave: I didn’t know Dolly Parton, either. Didn’t stop that from being the worst day of the year for me.
Aimee: Too soon, Dave.
Dave: I know, I’m sorry. None of us are over it.
Aimee: I really am just in disbelief over this. And it’s too late at night to be feeling that way! I need sleep, but all I’m going to be able to think about is this. How could it happen? He was fine! Now he’s gone! Life is cruel. And you were making jokes about him!
Dave: Don’t take it out on me, I didn’t do it.
Aimee: I just wish, you know, I’d told him not to take that flight.
Dave: You have no idea if the flight had anything to do with it.
Aimee: But what if it did?
Dave: It still wouldn’t be your fault. How could you, or anyone, know that he’d have a medical emergency on the flight? You can’t see the future. Don’t beat yourself up.
Aimee: I know. It’s just very sad. He wasn’t necessarily “young,” but he felt like he had so much life left to live.
Dave: I didn’t know him well, but from what you said, he was very dedicated to his work. So, in a way, he died doing what he loved. Take a little comfort in that.
Aimee: That is true. I’ll miss him, he was a character. Sometimes to a point that it hurt his political standing, but that was the charm of Rich. You never knew what you were gonna get from him!
The next day…
Dave: Aimee, wake up.
Aimee: What time is it?
Dave: Nine.
Aimee: Oh my god, church!
Dave: Well, yeah, but that’s not why I woke you up. Geraldine is calling.
Aimee: What about?
Dave: Do you recall what happened last night?
Aimee: Rich dying? Yeah, I remember. I sat in bed and cried for a while, it’s why I slept in until nine AM!
Dave: That’s not even that late for the weekend.
Aimee: It is for me! Do not tell Geraldine that I’m still in bed. Just hand me the phone, I’ll talk to her right now.
Dave: All right, if you insist.
Aimee grabs the phone.
Aimee: Are you doing okay, Geraldine? You worked with Rich for a lot longer than I did.
Geraldine: It’s hard. I just… it’s impossible to accept. I was on the flight with him last night, he was fine when I left the airport. I would’ve to see him tomorrow at work, as always.
Aimee: It’s hard, I know. He was such a character, just larger than life. I don’t know how he can just be gone.
Geraldine: You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you.
Aimee: No, I really wasn’t. I understand calling someone for comfort. You lost a friend.
Geraldine: It’s not that. Things are moving quickly.
Aimee: What?
Geraldine: The President doesn’t want a vacancy open for long at all - we just can’t afford to lose any votes. And we already lose yours a lot.
Aimee: Well, I do represent Washington. I’m trying to be a fair voice for my state. I can’t be a hardliner. And, it’s not who I am.
Geraldine: It would be nice if the Republican conference chair didn’t vote more with the Democrats than with her own party, but that’s beside the point. Not important right now.
Aimee: Yes, it’s more important to honor Senator Frankel.
Geraldine: Governor McKenna is choosing an interesting way to honor him.
Aimee: Is he going to sing Wind Beneath My Wings at his funeral? I’ve seen his karaoke TikToks, he fashions himself a performer.
Geraldine: No, he’s not planning on that. He’s going to appoint Rich’s sister to the seat.
Aimee: Oh! Is she a politician?
Geraldine: Not quite.
Aimee: Not quite? Is she, like, a strategist or -
Geraldine: She’s a teacher.
Aimee: Okay. Teachers help build our future generations.
Geraldine: She’s a complete novice in this arena, Aimee. I need you to help her out.
Aimee: What am I supposed to do?
Geraldine: You are a Republican who win in Washington! You are a great politician!
Aimee: Thank you! Although, I don’t think Aileen Frankel will have the benefit of running against an attempted murderer. And if she is, then Rich’s oppo research is very bad.
Geraldine: I think you just need to help her get more polished. She’s agreed to take the seat and run in her brother’s stead, as long as we help get her ready for the campaign trail. She doesn’t want to look like a fool.
Aimee: It’ll be a tough task, too. Only a month and a half until the election, and South Carolina was already looking close.
Geraldine: We’re in trouble, and I know that better than anyone. On the flight home, Rich and I were actually talking about how close his re-election campaign was looking. He said his poll had him down two points. So if Aileen doesn’t get right to work, she’ll definitely lose.
Aimee: Are you sure I’m the one to help her? I don’t really have experience appealing to southern voters. My constituents are northwestern fishermen and loggers and Seattle hipsters that hate me.
Geraldine: But you’re charismatic and well-spoken. That’s what she really needs help with.
Aimee: She needs help with speaking?
Geraldine: Public speaking. Not everyone’s comfortable with it.
Aimee: You should probably be comfortable with it if you’re going to jump into politics. Isn’t there anyone a bit more qualified in South Carolina who wants the seat?
Geraldine: McKenna wants it to be Aileen Frankel. He’s a friend of the family, he wants it to stay in family hands. He was lieutenant governor while Rich was attorney general, so they got to know each other well. And Aileen was Rich’s world, anyone who knew him knew her well.
Aimee: I will do my best.
Geraldine: That’s all I ask! I really appreciate you.
Aimee: Do you think she can win?
Geraldine: If you make her presentable, sure!
Aimee: You’re making it seem like I have to do some sort of Pretty Woman makeover here.
Geraldine: Look, she’s a lovely woman, but she’s kind of a shut-in. And she doesn’t really follow politics.
Aimee: Okay, this is more of a challenge than I thought.
Geraldine: You’re up for it!
Aimee: I appreciate the confidence. I don’t share it, but I appreciate it.
Geraldine: Well, you know, six years isn’t that long anyway.
Aimee: I think that’s what the Democrats said when I got elected!
Geraldine: It certainly is. But, hey, you’re still standing!
Aimee: I haven’t been up for re-election yet.
Geraldine: Well, you won’t be standing after the election.
The next day…
Lynette: Isn’t it so awful, what happened to Rich?
Gwen: What did happen, anyway? I haven’t really been following. It’s too depressing!
Persephone: You being sad a Republican is dead? That seems unlikely to me.
Gwen: I’m a liberal, not a sociopath! I don’t want you guys to be elected, but I don’t want you dead. And Rich and I got to know each other pretty well. Sometimes I wanted to rip his head off, like when I saw him on the Sunday talk shows inflating the president’s ego. More often, though, we were very friendly. We’d talk about or lives, our family, what shows we were watching. I didn’t agree with him on foreign police much, but he had a keen eye for diplomacy, and we could work together there.
Persephone: You do realize I was joking, right?
Gwen: I can never tell with you. We don’t know each other that well.
Mildred: You struggle with jokes in general. You’re just too ready to jump into an argument.
Gwen: I am not! I don’t argue ever!
Aimee: Gwen, now’s not the time for delusion. We’ve just suffered a tragedy.
Alec: I heard it was a blood clot. It traveled from his leg to his lungs.
Aimee: That’s awful!
Gwen: I always get so scared on long flights. You gotta remember to move around and try to keep your blood flowing.
Aimee: I try my hardest to, but sometimes I do forget.
Lynette: I usually just sleep on the plane.
Alec: How can anyone sleep on a plane? My neck kills me anytime I doze off.
Denise: Aimee, the senator for South Carolina is here.
Lynette: A zombie?
Denise: The new senator.
Lynette: They appointed a new senator already?
Gwen: You are so lucky you represent a state that would rather implode than vote Democrat.
Lynette: Hey, I almost lost last time!
Gwen: Great argument there, Lynette.
Aimee: Let her in!
Alec: Why is she visiting you first? You’d think her first stop would be meeting with Greg and Gerry.
Aimee: I’ve been put in charge of making her a politician.
Alec: You what?
Aimee: Look, she’s a total novice. She needs help from someone, why not an experienced politician like myself? It was Gerry’s idea.
Persephone: Is that not what you did with me?
Aimee: It sure was! And look how you’ve turned out.
Persephone: Thank you, I think.
Gwen: You’re helping the enemy?
Mildred: They’re Republicans, Gwen. Is it really a surprise that they want more Republicans to be elected?
Alec: Yeah, don’t be so greedy. There are so few of us left here.
Lynette: We all fit on one capitol subway train at this point.
Gwen: I love that. Let’s keep up the good work! This lady’s gotta -
Aileen: Senator Donahue, it’s so lovely to meet you.
Mildred: Shh!
Gwen: I’m shh-ing!
Aimee: Senator Frankel-Hartman, great to meet you. I am so truly sorry about your brother. He was a wonderful man.
Gwen: It was like working with Paul Lynde!
Mildred: Shh!
Aileen: I’m not sure what that means.
Gwen: Oh, you’re gonna be easy to beat.
Mildred: I think we ought to go.
Alec: Yeah, let’s give Aimee the chance to catch up with our newest senator.
Aileen: I actually haven’t been sworn in yet! I don’t know where to go.
Aimee: We’ll get that fixed, don’t you worry! You’ll be a pro in no time!
Aileen: I just don’t know if I’m made for this, senator. DC is scary.
Aimee: Yeah, it is. You get used to it, though! I promise!
Aileen: They were showing me designs for my yard signs and my campaign site on the flight there. That’s crazy! I just did’t think I would ever have yard signs with my name on them!
Aimee: I can’t claim to know how you’re feeling. You’ve been put in a truly unique and difficult position. I really admire your courage in jumping right into this after what you’ve just gone through. And I’ll be here every step of the way to help. I promise!
What did you think of the season premiere of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
