LORENZO
Thanks for letting me back in guys.
ROBERT
You were never really kicked out. Sorry the restaurant didn’t work out for you.
LORENZO
Lorenzo’s Kitchen is still open.
ACE
So is there just not gonna be a game today?
DEVIN
Hard to say. Why’s that guy still talking?
ROBERT
He used to be the owner of the team.
ACE
Seems like he really doesn’t like the other team.
FELIX
Of course he doesn’t, they’re rivals!
MANNY
Wait—did he just say the Boise Bats are an existential threat to the entire league?
HARRY
That’s what I heard. You know I saw on the news that we’re the ones out to ruin the league. Guess it depends on who you listen to.
DEVIN
Guess that was the zinger. Is there another speaker coming up or will this game start already?
LORENZO
According to my program, that guy wasn’t the last speaker.
FELIX
There are no programs.
LORENZO
Really? Someone sold me one outside the stadium. Only cost me forty bucks.
ROBERT
That sounds like a lot to me.
LORENZO
I should clarify. The food cost me forty bucks. The program was free.
ROBERT
That’s more like it.
ACE
I’m confused.
LORENZO
It adds up quickly when you charge high prices.
ACE
No, about the speech.
LORENZO
I’m not paying attention to it.
HARRY
I am. He said the top 4.3% of the top 5% of the top 1% of the top 99.992% of teams in the league get 7.28% of the top 18.3% of the total runs on 39% of Tuesdays.
ACE
Huh?
HARRY
You sound smarter when you use percentages.
ACE
I don’t even know what any of that means though.
HARRY
You’re not supposed to. Just let him be.
ROBERT
Is he okay? He looks really angry.
HARRY
How should I know?
MANNY
His speech seems to be over. That was a close one.
ROBERT
Lorenzo, how many more speeches?
LORENZO
That’s it. Now it’s time for Show and Tell.
FELIX
Seriously?
LORENZO
One player from each team presents an item that represents the team.
MANNY
Who’s doing that?
LORENZO
Me. I’ve decided to plug Lorenzo’s Kitchen. I’m practically a nobody without the crowd, what do I have to lose?
LORENZO exits the bullpen and walks to the side of the field with the camera. He stands in front of the camera, smiling and holding cotton candy.
LORENZO (into the camera)
The Indianapolis Primitives bring you cotton candy courtesy of Lorenzo’s Kitchen. Some call us the Cotton Candy Comeback team!
LORENZO walks back to the bullpen.
LORENZO
Nailed it. Now if you excuse me, I have to open Lorenzo’s Kitchen. Harry, mind coming along?
HARRY
We’re both being paid to be at this game.
LORENZO
There’s gonna be a game?
FELIX
You’re not gonna play in it, might as well leave.
LORENZO
Awesome! By the way, you can order from Lorenzo’s Kitchen online now! If you want it during the game, Harry will leave the bullpen, go to Lorenzo’s Kitchen, and come back with your food!
HARRY
That’s the first time I’m hearing about this.
LORENZO
Not a good idea?
HARRY
Not really. Also, aren’t you going to be in the bullpen during the game?
LORENZO
True.
ACE
How about we order online whenever we want, and then you serve it if we go to the place after the game? Or at least, when we all decide to leave?
LORENZO
Works for me. Now who wants cotton candy?
ROBERT
Not me but I could go for some non-Harry food.
MANNY
Alright, who says we ditch the game now?
DEVIN
I say we leave. If anyone asks, we’ll pretend we didn’t know there was a game.
FELIX
Nobody will ask.
Everyone leaves the bullpen and follows LORENZO to Lorenzo’s Kitchen. Click here to read Season 2 Episode 8 of Bar Exam!