SETTING: LIVING ROOM. EVERYONE HAS THEIR BAGS PACKED, READY TO LEAVE, EXCEPT JOSH AND ANDREW.
JOSH
So this house is really our now?
FRAN
It's still in our name, but Dad and I can't take it to Poland with us.
BRIAN
So what are you two going to do with it?
JOSH
I think it's about time we look at some adoption centers. Now they we have our own house in what seems to be a decent area, we could give a kid or two a better life.
DAVID
Why are you even going to Poland again?
FRAN
To start fresh. See a little bit more of the world.
ANDREW
Josh told me there was a reason you were calling us all here.
FRAN
Your Dad and I wanted to see you all in person before you left, have real face-to-face conversations.
CATHERINE
About that Mom, I'm sorry we haven't been in touch more, it's just that listening to Britney is taking up all my time.
BRITNEY
What??
CATHERINE
Not you.
BRITNEY 2
Britney, you expected her to be talking about you?
BRITNEY
It's not like the distinction was made clear.
MARY
Brian, Fran, it was nice seeing you both. Good luck in Poland, we'll be thinking about you.
DAVID
Our plane leaves in a couple hours, so we have to get going soon.
JULIAN
Plane? Dad we drove here, remember?
DAVID
Yeah but I know how much you all hated that. It's not worth it to see you like that again.
CHRIS
What are you going to do with the car then Dad?
DAVID
Josh and Andrew will figure it out.
JOSH
We will?
CATHERINE
Hey, how come you never do any of that for me William? You're not thoughtful like that?
WILLIAM
We agreed we're together for the kids.
BRITNEY 2
And that's helped us how?
WILLIAM
We never said it was going to help you.
DREW (to DAVID)
Didn't you say unhappy couples should get divorced?
DAVID
Uh...no I didn't say that go somewhere else.
WILLIAM
I agree with that David, unhappy couples really should get divorce. And we all know Catherine and I don't seem to happy right now.
BRITNEY 2 (QUIETLY)
I can't believe this is finally happening.
WILLIAM
But I would never divorce you Catherine. Too much paperwork. Separating is my kind of thing. Kids, get in the car, we're leaving.
MARY
David do something!
DAVID
Should I though? I think this is actually for the best.
CATHERINE
I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll get to speak to my second and third-favorite Britneys on occasion. I kind of missed being single.
BRIAN
It looks like your birthday was a real success Fran. We're going to enjoy life in a new country, David's relationship with his family has grown stronger, and Josh and Catherine are finally about to live the lives they've wanted for decades.
FRAN
Amazing how just a little bit of time together can bring everyone the lives they wanted. And it happened in the strangest way too. To think, coming in we thought Catherine was happily married and Josh was simply awful at finding a girlfriend.
JOSH
I always was Mom. Struck out plenty of times in the boyfriend area too.
DAVID
This was great Mom and Dad. I think it was the time together that we all needed, even if none of us knew we did.
CHRIS
Hey Julian, you still have that notebook?
JULIAN
Of course. Even got everyone's signature.
CHRIS
How about we pass it around and everyone can put down their emails and phone numbers?
JULIAN
Wow, too bad you didn't think of that one when Britney was around.
CHRIS
Oh, I did. Got Britney 2's as well.
JULIAN
And Uncle William's is already in this notebook. I think he thought it was part of the whole autograph thing.
[THE NOTEBOOK IS PASSED AROUND AND BACK TO JULIAN.]
JOSH
This was nice everyone, thanks for coming to our house. [EVERYONE LAUGHS AS THEY WALK OUT.]