NUMB HUMOR STUDIOS PRESENTS:
COLLEGE
Season 2 Episode 3
"Dat Party Tho"
Written by
William Fry & Michael Ledesma
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew and Edison walk out of their rooms. Megan is cooking breakfast which includes bacon, sausage, eggs, and pancakes.
ANDREW
Are you cooking?
MEGAN
Consider this a thank you for choosing me as your new roommate. Don’t get used to it.
EDISON
Is that a crêpe?
MEGAN
I didn’t know what you two liked so I kinda just made a spread.
ANDREW
Oh... well thank you. To be honest, we’ve been surviving on hot pockets and milky ways.
MEGAN
Well lucky for you two I can cook.
EDISON
Just another reason why you were the right choice to be our new roomie.
MEGAN
Everything’s done. Dig in. I’m gonna go take a shower.
Megan leaves the kitchen.
EDISON
What did I say man. She’s perfect.
ANDREW
Just because she can cook doesn’t mean I like the fact that you’re just trying to get with her.
EDISON
Andrew. My friend. Don’t you care about my happiness?
ANDREW
Do you care about mine?
EDISON
Don’t ask stupid questions.
Megan enters the kitchen wearing nothing but a bath towel.
MEGAN
Do y’all have any body wash other than “Hardcore Bod”?
ANDREW
Sorry no.
EDISON
That shampoo is guaranteed to give you muscles and make you smell like a champ.
MEGAN
Uh huh. Ok.
Megan leaves.
EDISON
Did you see that?
ANDREW
What?
EDISON
She was totally hitting on me.
ANDREW
I worry about you.
Andrew and Edison eat breakfast.
EDISON
Hey, you know what we should do?
ANDREW
What?
EDISON
We should throw a party.
ANDREW
Why?
EDISON
To celebrate our new apartment.
ANDREW
This wouldn’t be a ploy to hit on Megan would it?
EDISON
That would be an added benefit.
ANDREW
I don’t know.
EDISON
Come on. You promised me that we would have parties.
Andrew contemplates.
ANDREW
Ok fine. But we need to ask Megan. She is after all our roommate.
Megan enters wearing a fresh set of clothes.
EDISON
Megan.
MEGAN
Yes?
EDISON
How would you feel if we threw a party?
MEGAN
Any particular thing we’re celebrating?
EDISON
No.
MEGAN
Then I’m in.
EDISON
Fantastic! Ok ok. Food will be easy to get. Alcohol on the other hand...
MEGAN
I can get the alcohol.
ANDREW
How?
MEGAN
I have ways.
EDISON
Wonderful. I need to send out invites. So much to do, so little time.
Edison rushes out of the kitchen and into his room.
MEGAN
What’s his deal?
ANDREW
I’ll let you know when I find out.
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Andrew and Gabby sit at a table studying.
ANDREW
Hey uh Edison, Megan, and I are throwing a small party tonight. You want to come?
GABBY
Sounds great. Is Sarah gonna be there?
ANDREW
I invited her but I think she’s busy.
GABBY
What happened between you two? Are you still friends?
ANDREW
We’re just both busy with classes.
GABBY
Ah I see.
ANDREW
Megan’s gonna be there. I think you’ll like her.
GABBY
I’m sure I will.
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
The party has begun. The apartment is flooded with people. Alcohol and food are everywhere. The music is loud. Andrew and Gabby enter the apartment.
ANDREW
What the hell?
GABBY
I thought you said it was a small party?
ANDREW
That’s what I thought.
Edison and Megan emerge from the crowd.
ANDREW
What the hell is this?
EDISON
The party.
ANDREW
This isn’t a party this is a rave.
MEGAN
Which is just another word for party.
ANDREW
How many people did you invite?
EDISON
From which university?
ANDREW
How many universities did you invite?
MEGAN
Five.
ANDREW
Five!
EDISON
We’re gonna let everyone know that we’re party central. People are gonna be talking about this party for weeks. They’ll be like “Man dat party tho!”.
ANDREW
Are you drunk already?
EDISON
A little…
ANDREW
This... is not cool.
EDISON
Relax Andrew. For once in your life let loose. Here.
Edison hands him a cup of alcohol.
ANDREW
What’s this?
EDISON
Liberation.
Andrew looks at Gabby.
GABBY
You should let loose.
Andrew looks at the cup and drinks it.
MONTAGE
-Andrew drinks more alcohol while dancing with Gabby.
-Edison flirts with Megan and stays close to her.
-The partygoers continue to dance.
Edison and Megan are in Edison’s room getting more alcohol.
EDISON
So, did you invite your boyfriend?
MEGAN
I don’t have a boyfriend.
EDISON
I see. You know, I don’t have a girlfriend either.
MEGAN
Really? You?
EDISON
Yeah.
MEGAN
Well, girls are missing out.
Edison leans in to kiss Megan.
MEGAN
What are you doing?
EDISON
Uhhhhhh. I thought we were gonna kiss.
MEGAN
Why would you think that?
EDISON
Do you not feel the chemistry between us?
MEGAN
There’s no chemistry.
EDISON
What makes you say that?
MEGAN
I’m a lesbian.
EDISON
I thought you were American?
MEGAN
No, I mean I’m attracted to girls.
EDISON
Oh. Uhhhhh I’m sorry.
MEGAN
No no I’m sorry if I gave any indication. It’s just, I thought you knew. I told Andrew.
EDISON
You told Andrew?
MEGAN
He said he would tell you.
EDISON
He knew?!
Edison turns and leaves his bedroom. He enters the living room. Andrew is drinking another cup of beer. Edison approaches him.
ANDREW
Edison! You were right, I needed to let loose.
Edison punches Andrew. Andrew falls to the ground.
EDISON
You knew Megan was gay and you didn’t tell me?! You knew I was looking for a girlfriend! You knew what I was going through after Brittaney!
Andrew stands up.
EDISON
You’re supposed to be my friend.
Edison leaves.
LATER
The party has died down. People are leaving.
EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT
Edison is sitting on a bench outside the apartment complex. Andrew joins him. They sit in silence.
ANDREW
I didn’t tell you about Megan being a lesbian because you were happy when you didn’t know. You were so happy and I didn’t want to ruin that. Especially because of the way you were after Brittaney left. I’m so sorry. I should've told you.
EDISON
I understand. I’m actually glad I know. Now I can move on to another girl.
ANDREW
There he is.
Andrew and Edison laugh.
EDISON
Sorry about punching you.
ANDREW
No problem. Gabby says that she actually finds it sexy.
EDISON
You two are so weird.
ANDREW
I’m gonna go start cleaning up.
Andrew stands up and leaves. Megan sits down next to Edison.
MEGAN
Did you two make up?
EDISON
Yeah.
MEGAN
I’m sorry. I should have told you myself.
EDISON
No it’s fine. Sorry about hitting on you.
MEGAN
It’s fine. Look if you need a wing woman or someone to help you pick up girls, I’m your gal.
EDISON
My gal pal?
MEGAN
If that’s what you want to call it.
EDISON
Let’s just say friends.
MEGAN
Ok... friends.
END.