Karl, Betty, Cindy and Jerry are kayaking at Lake Lakey, twenty minutes from their house.
Betty: I can’t believe you all convinced me to go kayaking in the middle of January.
Jerry: It’s a nice day out, and it’s not cold. Trust me, you’ll have fun.
Betty: I’m sure the water is cold.
Jerry: Then don’t fall in!
Betty: I’m not planning on it, but it’s still cool on the water. I’m wearing a parka.
Cindy: Meanwhile, I’m in a windbreaker, because I am not crazy.
Betty: I have a disease.
Cindy: You got that right.
Karl: Be nice. Your mom only agreed to come here because she wanted to spend some time with you.
Betty: I spend so much time with Teri and Ralph because they’re home a lot more than you are. I wanted to take an opportunity to spend the day with you. I wish you would’ve wanted to go to a museum or some other place indoors, but you chose this for some reason so here we are.
Cindy: I could’ve asked you to go to the beach, like Velma.
Betty: I’m very glad that you did not.
Jerry: Cindy would never ask you to do that, even when it’s warm. She’d rather hang herself than go to Virginia Beach.
Cindy: It’s filled with communists.
Betty: I’m going to ignore that.
Karl: Oh, look at the geese! They’re flying above us!
Jerry: Geese? Those aren’t geese.
Karl: What are they, then?
Betty: The loons! The loons! They’re welcoming us back!
Cindy: Huh?
Betty: It’s from On Golden Pond, Cindy!
Cindy: I haven’t seen that movie?
Betty: You what?
Betty springs up, rocking the kayak and falling into the water.
Cindy: Oh my god, dad, do something!
Karl: Betty, grab my paddle!
Betty: I am freezing, Karl!
Karl: Grab on!
Cindy: Dad, be careful!
Karl: I’m trying!
Jerry: Do you need my help?
Betty: Someone help me! I’m drowning!
Cindy: We’ll help you, don’t you worry.
Betty: You better. I will not die by lake. I have decided not to let that happen.
Karl: She’s flailing around too much, I can’t save her with this paddle.
Cindy: She’s slipping under the water! She’s drowning!
Karl: I see that, I need help.
Jerry: I’m going in. I love you, Cindy.
Cindy: You love me? What the heck is that supposed to mean? Don’t you dare die!
Jerry jumps into the water and swims over to Betty. He grabs her and pushes her onto the kayak.
Jerry: A little help, Cindy?
Cindy: Help with?
Jerry: Getting me onto the kayak!
Cindy: Oh, sorry. I’m still stunned by what just happened.
Jerry: You’re gonna be more stunned if I drown right here.
Cindy: Okay, okay. Grab my hand
Cindy pulls Jerry onto their kayak.
Karl: I think we should get back to the car right away, we need to get them out of the cold so they don’t catch a chill.
Jerry: Yeah, getting hypothermia isn’t on my bucket list today.
Twenty minutes later, they return to their cars.
Karl: Betty, how are you feeling? You okay?
Betty: I feel cold.
Cindy: Well that’s just any normal Saturday.
Betty: I feel very cold.
Karl: Okay, that’s enough. We’re going to the hospital to get you checked out.
Cindy: No, dad. Not yet. We need to go home and get her a fresh set of clothing first. She can’t sit in cold, wet clothes for god knows how long in the ER waiting room. Actually, we should get most of these layers off now and wrap her in a blanket or something.
Betty: Is this how I’m going to go out? Freezing in the back seat of my car because I went kayaking in January?
Karl: No, you’re going to be okay. I promise.
Twenty minutes later…
Karl: Teri, grab your mother some dry clothing.
Teri: I wasn’t gonna get her something wet, but what’s wrong?
Karl: She fell in the water today, I’m taking her to be checked out but she needs to change first. Cindy and Jerry are helping her in the house.
Teri: She needs to be helped in? Is she okay?
Karl: She’s fine, but she’s very cold and we want to make sure she doesn’t trip coming up the stairs if there is something wrong with her.
Teri: Is there something wrong?
Karl: We don’t know, that’s why we’re taking her in.
Betty: I’m okay!
Teri: Are you sure?
Betty: Yes!
Teri: What are your thoughts on the President?
Betty: What an asshole!
Teri: She’s okay.
Twenty minutes later…
Teri: I hope mom’s okay. It feels like they’ve been gone forever.
Ralph: Teri, it’s been twenty minutes. They probably haven’t gotten to the hospital yet.
Teri: It’s only been twenty minutes?
Ralph: That is how time works, yes.
Velma: I love how worried you are for her. It’ll all be okay.
Teri: She’s my mother, of course I worry. Who will I have to be constantly annoyed at if she isn’t here.
Danielle: Frank.
Mitchell: Me, too.
Velma: Mostly Frank, though.
Frank: I concur.
Teri: I’m so glad you know where you stand.
Frank: Truly, how could I not?
Three hours later…
Velma: They’re home!
Karl, Betty, Cindy and Jerry walk into the house.
Teri: Finally! I’ve been worried sick!
Ralph: How did everything go?
Karl: Your mother is fine.
Betty: I told you!
Cindy: You were worried about dying in the car when you first got off the lake.
Betty: I thought I was dying, but by the time we got home, I knew I’d be okay. I could’ve been a doctor, I know when I’m healthy.
Teri: What did the doctors say?
Karl: They said she may have inhaled a bit of water, but nothing concerning. Basically no more than if some water you drink goes down the wrong pipe.
Betty: In other words, four hours of my life wasted to learn that I’m fine.
Cindy: We can all sleep better at night knowing that nothing is wrong.
Betty: Oh, something is wrong.
Teri: Oh boy…
Betty: That lake is dangerous. It needs to be shut down before it kills someone.
Teri: Shut down? You want to shut down a lake?
Betty: I do! I’m going to become an activist. 24/7, I’m fighting for this until I get it closed to the public.
Steven: Sure, grandma, now let’s get you to bed.
Betty: It’s six o’clock, I’m not tired yet. I still have to eat, since someone made me go to the hospital instead of letting me come home and have dinner.
Teri: While you eat, maybe rethink attempting to get our town’s main tourist attraction shut down.
Betty: I hope you can also think about things and understand that I’m just trying to make people safer.
The next day…
Teri: Mom, it’s ten in the morning and you’re all dressed up. What gives?
Betty: I told you yesterday. I’m getting the lake shut down.
Teri: You’re really doing that? Today?
Betty: The town council isn’t meeting again until next month. I have to do this now.
Velma: Are you sure you want to do it today? Not in a month after you have some time to put some evidence together?
Betty: I have enough evidence now, don’t worry about me.
Velma: Okay. Do you need me to drive you to the meeting? A lot of the family is at church right now.
Betty: Karl is taking me. I appreciate the offer, though.
Teri: Please don’t tell them you’re related to me.
One hour later, at the town council meeting…
Council President Elissa Brent: Who would like to speak next before the council?
Betty: Councilor Brent, I’m Betty Bellwood and I would like to speak on a very pre-
Elissa: You have the floor for ten minutes.
Betty: Thank you. I come before you all with a big problem in this community: Lake Lakey. I know, this was the lake that our town was named after, because the town settlers weren’t very creative, but it’s still unsafe and a hazard. It endangers our children, and all of us, really.
Elissa: How do you figure, Ms. Bellwood?
Betty: Okay, let me tell you a story. Yesterday, I went kayaking with my family on Lake Lakey. Next thing you know, I’m in the water, nearly drowning, taking on water, leading to a trip to the hospital. I thought I was going to die, I saw my life flash before my eyes and I felt myself slip away. If it wasn’t for my son-in-law, I would have died.
Councilor Howard Michaels: I’m sorry you went through that and I’m glad you’re okay, but unless the lake grabbed you and pulled you in, I don’t see that as the lake’s fault.
Betty: It is, though. The lake was rough and choppy and it made me fall in. It’s not my fault, it’s the lake’s fault.
Howard: You know, this isn’t relevant to this conversation but it bothered me so I have to point it out: Lakey was not named after Lake Lakey, and Lake Lakey wasn’t named because the founders couldn’t think of a better name for a lake than “Lakey.” It was named after Jeremiah Lakey, one of the first European settlers here.
Betty: I didn’t know that.
Howard: Now you do.
Councilor Amelia Jordan: Were you wearing a life jacket?
Betty: It’s not about that, councilor.
Amelia: Were you?
Betty: I don’t see that as relevant.
Amelia: I do. Can you answer the question?
Betty: I was not.
Amelia: You were not… wearing a life jacket?
Betty: Correct.
Amelia: That’s against posted rules at the lake. Did you not read them?
Betty: There’s rules posted?
Howard: Yes, and you are financially liable if you break those rules, as you have just testified to doing.
Betty: I what?
Howard: You have to pay a fine for not adhering to the town rules that mandate life vests while using the lake.
Betty: Surely you aren’t serious.
Howard: Do I look like the type to joke?
Betty: So, who do I make the check out to?
Howard: We’ll mail you the bill.
Betty: Okay, sounds good.
Later, at home…
Teri: So, mom. How did it go?
Betty: I don’t want to talk about it.
Tammi: Pastor Martha told us about it. Her brother keeps the minutes for the council.
Betty: Can we not talk about it?
Tammi: There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Ralph: Can someone fill us in?
Teri: Yeah, whatever this is sounds hilarious.
Betty: The council unanimously voted down my request.
Teri: I could’ve told you that.
Betty: They also charged me a two hundred dollar fine for not wearing a life vest.
Teri: Oh, my god. Oh my god. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh.
Betty: You shouldn’t! I don’t have that kind of money.
Teri: It’s just so funny!
Ralph: If you just could’ve resisted the urge to campaign to shut down a lake for no reason, this wouldn’t have happened.
Betty: You can all stop rubbing it in, you know.
Mitchell: Our town is named after that lake, why did you think this would work out.
Betty: Are you an idiot, Mitchell? Our town is named after Jeremiah Lakey, a settler here. It’s not named after a lake. The lake is named after the town. Jesus, Mitchell, get a grip.
Karl: She didn’t know that before today. She got reprimanded for it.
Betty: You are a traitor, Karl.
Karl: Thank you.
Danielle: I think today was a learning experience for us all.
Ralph: Yes, we learned to not attempt to shut down a lake with no evidence that it is dangerous.
Betty: It is dangerous!
Ralph: You are so stubborn.
Teri: You’re just learning that?
Ralph: Her stubbornness grows day-by-day. It’s truly remarkable.
Cindy: I was there when mom fell in.
Teri: And?
Cindy: I understand where she’s coming from.
Teri: You what?
Cindy: I get what she’s saying. I wouldn’t have fought to close down the lake, but I understand why she feels like she does. It barely took any time for her to nearly drown. Something’s up there.
Teri: Cindy, I know you don’t believe in science, but drowning really does happen so quickly. People drown and die within five minutes. Mom had to be in the water for a few minutes, at least. Nothing unusual.
Cindy: You don’t need to insult me.
Teri: I’m just debating the facts.
Betty: I get it now, I was a big dumb idiot who should have known better. I’m an embarrassment to our family and I should be ashamed.
Teri: No one said that. Standing up for what you believe in is a good thing, even if what you believe in is a little silly. It’s also important, though, that you don’t jump the gun. I don’t think the lake needs to be shut down but I wouldn’t helped you build a case if you wanted. You weren’t ready, that’s all.
Betty: Thank you for not rubbing it in even more.
Teri: When have you ever known me to be like that?
Ralph: Have you met you?
Betty: Do you guys think we could go out for dinner tonight? I need a nice, gourmet meal tonight.
Cindy: Well that stings.
Three hours later, at Mandello’s on Main…
Betty: Thank you guys for taking me out to dinner.
Ralph: You did demand it.
Betty: I didn’t demand anything.
Teri: She isn’t lying. She just whined for about fifteen minutes until we gave her a definitive “yes.”
Danielle: I’m glad we’re going out for dinner. I usually have to take myself out for breakfast if I want to eat a meal in a restaurant. This is a lot better. Less lonely.
Betty: I’m gonna order some chicken marsala. I can have spaghetti at home.
Teri: Mom, you get chicken marsala every time you eat here, you don’t need to announce it like it’s breaking news.
A woman, Wilma, approaches the table.
Wilma: Hello, I was at the town council meeting today.
Teri: Oh no…
Wilma: Ms. Bellwood, you are very brave.
Teri: I know, stepping out into public with her just hours after she did that is very brave. Thank you for your kind words.
Wilma: I mean your mother.
Betty: Me?
Wilma: My son Tommy drowned in Lake Lake a few decades back. It’s not safe, but they brush it under the rug whenever it’s mentioned. You didn’t win this time, but you brought awareness. I applaud you. Now, I better get back to my table, I think my food is there.
Betty: Thank you for speaking up.
Wilma walks away.
Betty: I told you all, didn’t I?
What did you think of the new episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below and make sure to read a new episode next week!
