EARL and GERALD are finishing up lunch in the cafeteria when SHARON approaches them.
SHARON
Alright, I know this sounds crazy, but has anyone seen Rodney?
EARL
Since when did you care?
SHARON
I said I knew it sounded crazy!
EARL
Doesn’t make it any less crazy-sounding.
GERALD
To answer your question, Cheryl: no, I have not.
SHARON
Sharon.
GERALD
Right.
SHARON
When did you last see him?
GERALD
Not since you two met at lunch a few weeks ago, actually.
EARL
Last I heard, he wanted to get you moved out of here.
SHARON
Oh I bet he did.
GERALD
Yeah he’s pretty mad he accidentally moved back in with his ex-wife.
SHARON
I mean it’s not like we’re sharing an apartment. Just the same building.
EARL
Fair point.
SHARON
Speaking of which…Rodney wasn’t at his apartment when you checked?
EARL
What do you mean?
SHARON
You didn’t check Rodney’s apartment to see where he is?
EARL
Well…no, I guess we didn’t.
SHARON sighs.
SHARON
Follow me.
SHARON takes a few steps.
SHARON
On second thought, somebody lead me to Rodney’s apartment, I’m not quite sure where it is myself.
GERALD finishes his last bite and leads EARL and SHARON to RODNEY’s room. GERALD knocks on the door, then enters tentatively when RODNEY does not answer.
RODNEY
Whoa! What are you guys doing here?!
EARL
You’re alive!
GERALD
Thank God! We were all worried about you!
RODNEY looks confused.
RODNEY
I think one of you was worried about if they were gonna inherit my wealth.
SHARON looks away. GERALD glances ahead to the television.
GERALD
Looks like you’ve got KTN on.
RODNEY
Just doing my job. You know how that goes.
GERALD
Your job?
RODNEY
I got asked back to KTN. I have to save it.
EARL
Rodney…what are you talking about?
RODNEY
Watch the network with me for a week.
EARL
No thanks.
RODNEY
KTN is falling apart. They hardly air anything anymore.
EARL
Luckily that’s not your problem now.
RODNEY
But I’m the only one who can save it. They said so themselves.
SHARON
Or you could get a move on with your life. You lost me decades ago because of that stupid network, and now you’re doing it all over again.
RODNEY
This is what’s best for me. Not some little retirement home.
SHARON pauses.
SHARON
That’s too bad, because I’d actually be sad to see you go. My breakup with Russell taught me maybe you’re not as terrible as I thought.
EARL
Yeah Rodney, you were a good friend.
SHARON
Oh I wouldn’t go that far.
RODNEY
I disappeared weeks ago and you didn’t come looking for me.
EARL
We were uh…giving you your space.
RODNEY
Sure you were.
GERALD suddenly gets up and leaves the room without saying a word, confusing everyone else.
RODNEY
And Gerald just got up without even saying goodbye, shows what friend he is!
EARL
I guess you have a point. So when do you start back up at KTN?
RODNEY
Start of the fall season. And it couldn’t come any quicker.
GERALD quickly reappears with CINDY, the retirement home’s events director.
EARL
You’re back!
CINDY
I heard somebody was thinking about leaving behind his three best friends for his boring old desk job.
RODNEY
I heard he had concrete plans to leave behind two new friendly acquittances and his ex-wife to return to his passion.
CINDY
What if I told you that you could have the best of both worlds?
RODNEY
I already took it! I got the job back and no ex-wife in the picture!
CINDY
And no friends or family to come home to either.
RODNEY pauses.
RODNEY
Well that is true.
CINDY
I heard from one of your FRIENDS you’d be good at scheduling events.
RODNEY
Much better than your sorry a—
CINDY
Excuse me?
SHARON
This is why I divorced him.
GERALD
Let’s get back on track here, people!
CINDY
Right. Rodney, how’d you like to be Head of Scheduling for Events here?
RODNEY looks around and sees GERALD, EARL, and SHARON’s hopeful gazes.
RODNEY
Fine. But my first move is I’m canceling whatever this is. Everyone out.
CINDY, GERALD, and EARL start to leave RODNEY’s apartment. SHARON hangs back for a second.
SHARON
See you around?
RODNEY pauses, then nods subtly.