The family is at the Monroe Family Restaurant in downtown Lakey.
Teri: Wow, family restaurant you picked out, Cindy.
Cindy: It’s quaint!
Teri: I’m scared to even open the menu.
Jerry: Don’t be such a snob!
Teri: I don’t mean to be a snob, I’m just used to eating places with a little more class. Look, when you get used to Ralph’s cooking -
Ralph: Don’t bring me into this.
Teri: Dammit, I thought that was gonna be how I make myself look better
Ralph: I won’t be used to put down my fellow culinary professionals.
Karl: This place is a Lakey institution, too. We’ve been coming here since before you kids were born.
Betty: We came here on our second date!
Teri: Was it always this dingy or is that new?
Wanda (Waitress): Hey, what can I get y’all?
Teri: Do you have Coke?
Wanda: We have Pepsi.
Teri: Of course you do…
Wanda: Would you like a Pepsi?
Teri: I would not. I’ll have, uh… do you have iced tea?
Wanda: We do.
Teri: I’ll take that. Sweetened.
Wanda: All right, everyone else?
Betty: I’m not a diva, I’ll take the Pepsi.
Cindy: I’m not sure I’d agree with that, but I’m not going to start drama over it.
One hour later…
Karl: All right, you guys ready to go?
Teri: My pie isn’t here yet!
Ralph: I can’t believe you ordered pie, I can make a whole pie for the same cost.
Teri: I want it now, Ralph, not whenever you mess up something a catering client wants.
Ralph: I bake plenty for the family!
Teri: Maybe I just never get any.
Karl: And there she is with the bill and the pie!
Wanda: Thank you all for coming out tonight, you’ve been lovely!
Jerry: You were lovely yourself!
Karl: Dinner’s on me tonight, guys.
Tammi: No, we couldn’t!
Mitchell: Are you nuts? You’re refusing a comped meal?
Danielle: Some of us have principles, you know.
Mitchell: Stupid principles!
Velma: I’m gonna run to the bathroom before we go, I’ll meet you guys out in the car.
Teri: It’s a five-minute ride home.
Velma: I drank two full cups of soda, I’m not making it up those steps.
Teri: Just don’t be long, Shark Tank is on tonight.
Jerry: It’s seven thirty, how long do you think she’s going to take in there?
Teri: I don’t play about Shark Tank.
Velma: I promise, I don’t plan on setting up camp in the bathroom.
Velma gets up and walks to the bathroom.
Karl: Velma! Look out!
Velma trips over a bunched-up rug on the floor.
Cindy: Are you okay?
Mitchell: What happened? Is something wrong?
Cindy: Your wife fell, man!
Mitchel: Did she?
Velma: My wrist! Oh my god!
Betty: Can you get up?
Velma: I think so. Can someone help me, though?
Karl: Yeah, grab my hand.
Velma: My ankle! Oh my god!
Karl: What’s wrong?
Velma: I can’t stand on it. I’m going back down!
Karl: Someone, help!
Jerry: I’m coming!
Teri: I knew I wasn’t getting home in time for Shark Tank.
Three hours later…
Betty: All right, there you are, home again.
Velma: I can’t believe this. I’m going to be hobbling around for weeks!
Ralph: Yeah, but Teri missed Shark Tank! Think of the real issues here!
Teri: I mentioned it once, don’t act like I’m some selfish monster.
Ralph: No, but it’s funny to get you going.
Frank: Hey, look on the bright side: you work from home. It’s not like you have to worry about missing work.
Velma: Ah, yes, not only am I in pain with my arm in a sling and a boot on my foot and in crutches, but I also don’t have any excuse not to take off time from my job!
Danielle: You can still take off if you’re in that much pain.
Velma: No, it’s not worth losing the money. I’ll work through it.
Karl: It’s a Friday night, no one needs to worry about work for days to come.
Velma: I’ll tell you what I do need to focus on… where I’m sleeping tonight.
Mitchell: What, how did I upset you this time?
Velma: It’s not always about you!
Mitchell: Well, what is it about?
Velma: Mitchell, we sleep upstairs. I’m on crutches!
Tammi: Frank and I will swap rooms with you if you want, until you get better.
Frank: We will?
Tammi: I’ll change out the sheets and the pillows.
Velma: That would be so sweet of you, thank you.
Betty: We wouldn’t traded rooms if you wanted.
Velma: No, I only need one room, but thank you.
Teri: Also, mom… you sleep upstairs.
Teri: Oh, right.
Steven: Have we considered a stairlift? I’ve always wanted one.
Tammi: Why would you want one?
Ralph: Yeah, you’re not a senior citizen.
Steven: They just look fun.
Teri: Nothing more fun than something that can travel up the stairs and one tenth of a mile per hour.
Velma: I don’t think we need to go that far, I’ll just swap rooms with Tammi and Frank.
Teri: We might need to get one for mom one of these days, though.
Betty: I seem to remember you having more trouble getting up those stairs than I did when we stayed in that hotel without the elevator!
Teri: I was drunk!
Danielle: There’s a shock!
Teri: I’m never drunk! You might be thinking of Mitchell.
Mitchell: Me? Drunk?
Velma: Yeah, he drinks enough to have built up an immunity, there’s no drunken stupors here.
Jerry: What a valuable asset.
The next morning…
Karl: Hey, Velma, how you feeling?
Velma: Well, I’m up at seven in the morning on a Saturday, does that suggest anything?
Karl: Did you try taking some pain meds to help you get back to sleep?
Velma: I’ve been taking them non-stop, it’s still hard to sleep with these things on two of your limbs.
Karl: It’s not fun. I remember back when I was young, when medicine wasn’t quite so advanced, I stepped on a shattered bottle and I was on crutches for weeks while my foot healed while it was wrapped. Well, it wasn’t cleaned right and it got infected under there. The pain was awful.
Velma: Do you think mine could be infected?
Karl: No. You were treated by doctors who don’t smoke Camels in the operating room. You’re good.
Velma: Are you sure?
Karl: Yes, I’m sure. You’re good. So, how have you been spending this morning alone?
Velma: Researching.
Karl: Researching what?
Velma: Lawyers. I’m suing the Monroe Family Restaurant.
Karl: Suing?
Velma: That hospital visit cost thousands! I never would’ve been there if not for them. Add in the emotional toll it takes, I could be looking at ten, twenty thousand if these websites are right.
Karl: That’s not right.
Velma: You think it’s more?
Karl: I mean morally.
Velma: How so?
Karl: Velma, it’s a small restaurant, a town institution. That would ruin them. I own a small business, I know it would ruin me!
Velma: I’m ruined!
Karl: Have them pay for your medical fee, but don’t sue them for frivolous nonsense. It wasn’t even their fault that rug was bunched up, or that you tripped. I warned you, you just weren’t paying attention.
Velma: It’s their restaurant, of course it’s their fault.
Karl: Someone shuffling their chair a few seconds before you walked by caused it to become a tripping hazard. They didn’t even have time to fix it. I saw the whole thing.
Velma: So you really think I should do nothing?
Karl: No, like I said, have them pay the medical fee - it did happen in their establishment, after all. Don’t sue straight away, though. Go to them, tell them what happened, and offer them the chance to make it right paying for your medical care and avoid a court battle.
Velma: I can’t even go anywhere right now because of them!
Karl: That’s not true, and you know it.
Velma: Not with any degree of ease!
Ralph: Hey, what’s up out here?
Karl: She wants to sue the restaurant.
Mitchell: Hey, good going!
Karl: Good going? Come on, think of morality!
Mitchell: She tripped and fell because of their negligence, she should sue!
Ralph: I don’t know about that one.
Mitchell: You guys are siding with a restaurant over family?
Karl: We just have different views on this. If you want to go through with a lawsuit, that can weigh on your conscience. We’ve spoken our peace. Now, let me get my oatmeal.
One week later…
Betty: Wow, do you see this?
Danielle: What?
Betty: “Monroe Family Restaurant, a Lakey Tradition, to Close After 60 Years.”
Jerry: Wow, and right after we were there!
Teri: It was a lot better than I expected, too! What’s causing this?
Danielle: They cited money and legal troubles as the reason in the article I just read online.
Betty: How’d you find that so fast?
Tammi: She’s not a boomer.
Betty: I’m a proud boomer.
Karl: Oh my god, you didn’t…
Betty: What?
Karl: You want to tell them, or should I?
Jerry: Why is everyone being so damn cryptic?
Karl: She did it.
Jerry: Who did what?
Teri: Well, he’s pointing at Velma, so I’m guessing Velma did something.
Velma: I did the right thing.
Karl: You did the wrong thing! You did the immoral thing!
Velma: I was maimed by that restaurant, I fought back!
Jerry: How did you fight back?
Velma: I’m suing the restaurant.
Danielle: I can’t believe you would do thisI’d
Betty: Velma, you’re putting people out of work! Good people! Wanda!
Velma: I don’t know Wanda.
Betty: She was so nice.
Teri: I’d feel worse for them if they had Coke on the menu.
Velma: I need you to all know I didn’t make this decision lightly. It weighed on me, ultimately I felt I needed to do it.
Danielle: This article says that an unnamed patron, i.e. you, filed a lawsuit for fifty thousand dollars after suffering an injury at the restaurant earlier this month, an amount that would leave them bankrupted on its own, with legal fees making the situation even more dire.
Karl: Fifty thousand?
Velma: It was suggested to me by my lawyer.
Tammi: That is sick.
Velma: I’m a victim!
Tammi: A victim of nothing but your own stupidity. I want my room back.
Velma: We can talk this out!
Tammi: Hobble up the stairs.
Steven: I am so ashamed.
Velma: Even the kid’s turned on me!
Steven: You bet he is!
Jerry: Why can we not go to a restaurant without one of you two ruining it for us?
Three days later…
Mitchell: Hey, are you okay to check out? I have to run to the bathroom.
Velma: Yeah, I’m good.
Velma walks up to the cash register at the store.
Violet (cashier): Oh my god… you’re showing your face in public?
Velma: Excuse me?
Violet: It’s a small town, and small business owners talk.
Velma: Is this about -
Violet: You financially ruining a beloved restaurant?
Velma: I wouldn’t put it that way.
Mitchell: Is there a problem here?
Violet: Yeah, your kind isn’t wanted here. God forbid you trip on your way out, no more selling cupcakes for me.
Velma: That’s not who I am.
Violet: It sure seems to be.
Velma: I’ll go.
Violet: Yeah, you should.
In the car…
Velma: That was awful.
Mitchell: I know. I didn’t get my cupcake! And then your crutch got stuck in the doorway!
Velma: Yes, that was the awful part.
Mitchell: It was all awful. You got berated just for being a victim.
Velma: I’m starting to wonder if I am a victim. Between the family, this lady, people at the movie theater, people on my Facebook, freakin’ Anita DeFleur of all people…
Mitchell: No. You did the right thing.
Velma: Is the money worth everyone hating us?
Mitchell: They’ll hate us regardless now.
Velma: Not if we patch it up. I drop the lawsuit and pay for their lawyer if they just agree to pay my medical bill.
Mitchell: You can’t be serious! You have a great case, you heard the lawyer!
Velma: I don’t know if I can live with myself knowing I put people out of work and stole a family’s dreams! That family has owned that place since before I was even born!
Mitchell: There are consequences to our actions.
Velma: Yeah, I’m seeing that firsthand.
Later that night…
Velma: I have an announcement, everyone!
Teri: Are you suing us because Frank left the toilet seat up again?
Velma: No! A real announcement!
Cindy: I’m getting yelled at in public for your greed! I hope you’re happy!
Velma: I’m not! I’m fixing it!
Karl: I’d hope so.
Velma: I need you all to understand, I was really injured and I was looking for some fair compensation. I know I took it too far, and now I’m a pariah, and I’m heartbroken to know that I’ve hurt people. I went to the Monroe Family Restaurant, and I got yelled at at first - Wanda’s not so nice, by the way - but I told them I was dropping the lawsuit if it meant they’d stay in business. So, they’re not closing. I hope I can be forgiven for my lapse in judgment.
Teri: I’m still mad I missed Shark Tank because of you, but this is a start.
Karl: This is a step in the right direction.
Danielle: I see the Facebook moms are celebrating. You fixed it, Velma. This’ll blow over soon.
Steven: I got a lot of crap from Alysa for this, so I’m still pretty upset.
Jerry: Look at Steven, facing consequences from his woman for something he didn’t even do. They’re practically an old married couple!
Cindy: And what is that supposed to mean?
Jerry: Nothing! I love you!
Cindy: I thought so.
What did you think this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
