COLLEGE
S3 Ep 4
"Financial Aid"
Written by
William Fry and Michael Ledesma
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew and Edison sit at the table eating breakfast.
ANDREW
How’d Paul take you moving out.
EDISON
Well, he started crying and got on his knees and begged me to stay. Something about how he was lonely. Thankfully, I didn’t have that much stuff to move.
ANDREW
Hmm. Hey, listen, I’ve always wondered, did you ever see Brittaney when she came here?
EDISON
No. She was in the country, but she went to her parents and then back to Italy.
ANDREW
Oh. Sorry man.
EDISON
It’s fine.
Megan enters and takes a seat at the table. She pours herself a bowl of cereal. The guys stare at her concerningly.
MEGAN
What?
ANDREW
Are you ok?
MEGAN
I’m great. Why do you ask?
EDISON
Because you had an emotional breakdown.
ANDREW
Because the girl you were in love with broke up with you.
MEGAN
Well, I’m fine now.
ANDREW
Megan it’s ok not to be fine.
MEGAN
I know it’s ok. But like I said, I’m fine.
Sarah enters the apartment carrying a stack of mail.
SARAH
The mailman told me that you all haven’t checked your mail in 2 weeks.
ANDREW
Things have been pretty hectic around here.
SARAH
Well, you’ve each got mail.
Sarah hands each of them their mail.
MEGAN
Oh wonderful. The latest issue of Cosmopolitan. This was Samantha’s favorite.
Sarah grabs the magazine and begins tearing it.
SARAH
There. All gone.
MEGAN
Actually, I was hoping to read it.
ANDREW
Huh. Looks like I was summoned for jury duty. Two weeks ago.
Edison stares at an open letter wide eyed.
SARAH
Edison, what’s wrong?
EDISON
Ummmm my financial aid got revoked.
ANDREW
What?
Edison hands Andrew the letter. Andrew scans it with his eyes.
ANDREW
It says here that because of your attendance record, the university will no longer be able to offer you financial aid.
SARAH
I told you to go to your classes.
EDISON
I only skipped a couple times. A couple dozen times.
MEGAN
I didn’t know you were on financial aid.
EDISON
I’m actually the first in my family to go to college.
MEGAN
They must be so happy.
EDISON
You kidding? They didn’t want me to go. They wanted me to stay and help with their fruit stand at the flea market.
SARAH
So, you made the choice to go to college?
EDISON
Duh. Hot women and booze. Better than being my family’s translator.
ANDREW
Well, you’re lucky that they’re not kicking you out.
EDISON
Yeah thank goodness. “Dat Party Tho II” is right around the corner.
SARAH
Edison, this is a big deal. How are you going to pay for school?
EDISON
Will everyone relax, I’ll figure it out. In fact, I already have an idea.
MEGAN
Well, let’s hope it’s better than the reusable condom.
EDISON
What if, I get one of the chemistry majors to cook up some party drug and then I use my business knowledge to sell it. We can split the prophets.
ANDREW
You’ve been watching Breaking Bad again haven’t you.
EDISON
Hey, it’s a very informative show.
SARAH
Edison, the only legal way you can afford school is by getting a job.
EDISON
I’m sorry... a job?
SARAH
Yes. Either on campus or off. For example, I work at the coffee stand in the student union.
EDISON
The place with bad coffee?
SARAH
My point is that you have a lot of options.
EDISON
Ok. Ok fine I will check to see if there are any jobs open on-campus. But if I can’t find one, we should seriously consider breaking bad.
Edison goes to several job interviews dressed in a suit. Each one of them says no.
INT. STUDENT UNION - DAY
A disheveled Edison sits with Andrew, Sarah, and Megan at a table.
EDISON
Five interviews. Five. All no.
SARAH
It’ll take you time to find one.
EDISON
How long did it take you?
SARAH
Well, I got in on the first one.
EDISON
Oh great.
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - DAY
Andrew, Sarah, and Megan sit at a study table in the library. Edison walks over to them. He is slightly pale. He takes a seat.
ANDREW
The hell happened to you.
EDISON
Well, I found a new source of income.
SARAH
What?
EDISON
Turns out our university is in need of test subjects. You know, for pharmaceuticals.
MEGAN
What did they give you?
EDISON
Something that’s supposed to increase energy. Got to say though, I’m not really feeling that great.
ANDREW
Ok that’s it. Edison until you get a job, us three will contribute a little of our job money to your tuition.
EDISON
I can’t have you do that.
ANDREW
Yes, you can. Look, we got parents who can support our schooling. The jobs we have are just so we can have a little extra money. Extra money that can go to helping our friend.
EDISON
Thanks guy. I owe you.
MEGAN
Actually, you do owe me $12 for a movie ticket.
The group stares at Megan.
MEGAN
Which of course you can pay anytime.
EDISON
Thanks. Now, if you all will excuse me, I got to go document my symptoms.
Edison stands up and hesitates. He looks as though he is about to heave. He sits back down.
EDISON
Maybe later.
END.