Gretchen walks into her office.
Gretchen: Hello! I’m here!
Sarita: I’m sorry, Gretchen. I’ve just been run ragged since Carol left.
Esther: I don’t know why you ever told her she was allowed to leave. It might not seem like she did much around here, and she really didn’t, but Sarita is doing all the things Carol was supposed to be doing AND her regular job, and it’s just sad to see the poor girl so over-worked.
Sarita: You could help, you know.
Esther: Oh… no. I don’t want to mess anything up.
Gretchen: Why do you work here, then?
Sarita: I think calling what she does “work” is really stretching the definition of the word.
Esther: I help! I do all of the press releases, I do all of the press conferences.
Sarita: Yeah, we’d be lost without your press releases about the current flag status, always posted in caps lock.
Esther: I don’t know how to turn it off, I think my keyboard is broken.
Sarita: It’s concerning that you even work on a desktop computer at all. I think that thing is from like 1982!
Esther: People love vintage!
Gretchen: Ladies, I just asked for a “hello.”
Sarita: Hello, Gretchen!
Gretchen: I promise that I am going to get you guys some help. I know that Carol stepping away is a surprise and a major burden for the both of you. Particularly Massachusetts.
Sarita: Entirely me.
Gretchen: Anyway, we all miss Carol, but she’s moved on to better and brighter things.
Sarita: Everyone always wants to flee a sinking ship. Why not go down with it? The ocean is fun!
Esther: It does get me thinking about how this job’s gonna end soon. What am I gonna do?
Sarita: With all your skill… I’m sure Kohl’s is hiring. They always need holiday help.
Esther: I’m being serious! I’m going to miss working here. Yeah, you guys always gave me a hard time, but it’s nice to feel important! I’m the communications director for the governor!
Gretchen: Of Rhode Island.
Esther: I still think that’s pretty cool for a gal my age. Most of my friends are all retired and off to Boca. I’m working to make real change. It’s been so humbling.
Gretchen: All right, we’ve still got a lot of work to do and months left to do it, so let’s not talk like we’re out of here on Friday.
Sarita: Speaking of Friday, are you excited for the big debate?
Gretchen: They’re having the debate on a Friday? That feels counterproductive.
Sarita: It’s not like anyone would watch on a Monday, either.
Gretchen: People watched my debates!
Esther: Is that what Carol told you?
Gretchen: You know, it’s not appropriate to bully the governor.
Later that night…
Anthony: How was work, dear?
Gretchen: Terrible! Ever since Carol blindsided me and decided that she actually did have to step aside for her primary campaign, we’ve been run ragged.
Anthony: Well, you can’t be mad at Carol for that. She’s just trying to win.
Gretchen: I know, it was just very sudden. We had conversations about whether she was stepping down as chief of staff or not when she jumped into the race, and she assured me she wouldn’t. It’s just strange to not have her around. A lot of politicians cycle through chiefs of staff on a regular basis. Carol’s been with me since I was in the Senate. For almost twenty years, she’s been my right-hand-woman. It’s so strange to go to work without her there. And that’s obviously not the only major change in my life right now.
Anthony: You can always call her. In fact, she just called you about an hour ago and invited you to be her guest for the debate on Friday.
Gretchen: What kind of psycho would want to spend their Friday night at a debate?
Anthony: I would assume you.
Gretchen: Yeah, I probably am gonna go. You know I’m a sucker for these things.
Anthony: Yeah, you are.
Gretchen: It’s going to be weird, though, seeing all these people lobbying to get my job. It’s the end of an era. It’s hard to come to terms with that.
Anthony: You’ve done an amazing job, you’ve left your mark on this state. You have to hold your head high and know that.
Gretchen: There’s always more you wish you could’ve done. I’ll always have regrets and doubts. I wish I could’ve had a friendly legislature for more of my term, rather than one led by the tag team of Hank and Jeanne.
Anthony: We all have co-workers we hate, no? That was beyond your control.
Gretchen: I guess. I don’t know, I guess it’s just hard to say goodbye.
Anthony:” You’re not saying goodbye yet! You’ve still got what, five months? Plus, aren’t you excited to move on from politics? It’s such a stressful job, and you’ve been working in it for so long. You need a good break from it.
Gretchen: I do, you’re right. It’ll be nice for it to be up to someone else to handle the world’s issues. And it’ll be even nicer to actually get to stay in bed until a reasonable hour. Like… maybe until eight!
Anthony: That late?
Gretchen: I’m a radical, I know.
Toby: Mom! What’s for dinner?
Gretchen: You know, it’s times like this where I truly miss my mother. That sounds really bad. I didn’t mean it like that. I lov-
Anthony: I know what you mean. I don’t like cooking, either.
Gretchen: Do you think Christina would be willing to come here and cook for us?
Anthony: She’s on vacation with her friends.
Gretchen: Cancun isn’t that far of a flight.
Anthony: We’ll get something delivered.
Gretchen: Sounds good to me!
Three days later…
Gretchen: God, it feels like forever since I’ve seen you!
Carol: It’s been like five days.
Gretchen: That’s too long!
Carol: I know, it is. I’m just so busy with the campaign. I never realized how much work it was to be a candidate before. You actually have to talk with people… it’s exhausting.
Gretchen: I’m aware. I may have run for office a few times in my day. You were by my side!
Carol: But I got to tune the people out! Gretchen, I don’t know if I have the people skills to win this! I have to admit, I really underestimated your skill as a politician.
Gretchen: Tammy Koobach had the exact opposite problem.
Carol: You weren’t that bad on the campaign trail.
Gretchen: I was not good, but that’s ancient history! You are running a great race.
Carol: How do you know? You haven’t campaigned with me.
Gretchen: And I do plan on changing that! We’re just so busy at the office without you there.
Carol: I know, and I feel terrible about leaving you guys. I just didn’t realize how much work a campaign was. I’m shocked anyone else wants this job!
Carrie: Hey, you two!
Gretchen: Carrie, what are you doing here? Aren’t you busy prepping for the debate?
Carrie: I don’t find it helpful to sit in a room prepping with my advisors. I’d rather walk around a little, get some fresh air, stretch my legs… that actually calms me down.
Gretchen: I took a Xanax before a debate once and the viewers at home thought I was high. I still won the election, maybe they thought it was cool. I don’t know, and I don’t judge. We’re an open-minded state.
Carol: You took six Xanax. You kept forgetting you had taken them and argued with me when I told you.
Carrie: Everyone has their own coping mechanisms.
Gretchen: I’m sure you’re going to do great tonight, Carrie. I mean, look at the competition…
Carrie: I can’t dismiss anyone. Jeanne and Samantha and Rob are very accomplished and experienced politicians. And Hank… is also running.
Gretchen: Hank would be so touched that you remember he’s running for governor. Also, I don’t know if Pratt is “accomplished.” She’s the lieutenant governor, we literally just pay them to have a pulse and be ready in case the governor does not.
Carol: Hey!
Gretchen: And they are also a very valuable and trusted governing partner!
Carol: Thank you.
Carrie: Carol will be an extremely important voice in my administration, she’ll be one of my most important advisors.
Gretchen: I don’t think I ever even let Pratt advise me once. Didn’t trust her to do so. You can use that in the debate.
Carrie: I’m going to try not to hit below the belt.
Gretchen: I don’t roll that way.
Carol: I’m so proud I was able to make her into the shrewd politician she is today. I molded her with my bare hands.
Gretchen: I like to think I had something to do with my own success.
Carol: Eh.
Carrie: You’ve been an excellent governor, and I’m thrilled to have your support. And yes, Carol certainly helped, but so much of it is to your credit.
Gretchen: What a politician you are. You’re winning this thing. I’ve been around long enough to know that.
Carrie: I won’t count any chickens before they hatch.
Gretchen: Another excellent politician answer!
Later in the night…
Annie DeMarcus (debate moderator): Hello and welcome to the 2026 Democratic primary debate for Rhode Island governor. I’m your moderator, Annie DeMarcus, and I’m grateful to be joined here today by our five qualifying candidates for governor. As I introduce them all, they will have one minute for introductions before we move on to the debate. Let’s begin with former congressman and businessman Rob Seider.
Rob: Rhode Island, serving you has been the basis of my life. I was so humbled to serve you for over a decade in Congress, and I’ve been so thrilled to serve our local community as the owner of Seider Industries. I know you, and you know me. I want to work for you once again as your governor, because I want Rhode Island to work. We’ve been let down by failed governance -
Gretchen: He’s just bitter I didn’t appoint his ass to the Senate.
Rob: I will serve you well. I hope to earn your vote tonight.
Annie: Us next, state senate majority leader Jeanne Riverro.
Jeanne: It’s time for something new for Rhode Island. We’ve spent long enough with close-minded leaders who think they know all.
Gretchen: I know better than you!
Jeanne: I will be an open-minded leader who ushers in a new era for this state.
Carol: I just heard your eyes roll.
Gretchen: I think I need ocular surgery.
Annie: Next up, state senator Carrie Lione.
Carrie: Look, I know I don’t have the experience of some of my fellow candidates on this stage. I certainly don’t have the star power or the legacy of them. I respect them and I respect what they’ve done for this state. But they have all been in power for a long time, and they’ve become disconnected with the average Rhode Islander. I’m a young wife and mother who ran for state senate six years ago with a simple mission: looking out for the little guy. I want to focus on the Rhode Islanders who feel forgotten by our government, and who need a bit of help. Parents wanting better education for their kids. Workers who don’t want to have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet. Drivers who want better roads! We need a Rhode Island with equal opportunities for all, and I’m the person to make that happen. Vote Carrie Lione to move us all forward.
Gretchen: She didn’t mention that she’s endorsed by me.
Carol: She has plenty of time.
Annie: Next up, lieutenant governor Samantha Pratt.
Samantha: The promise of change is always appealing, but who is best to help enact change? I’d say it’s someone who has the experience to get those changes done. I’ve worked in every area of government, and I’ve been part of the most effective administration this state has seen. I’m disgusted by the implication from some on this state that the Raymond administration is anything less than THE most successful administration Rhode Island has ever had. We’ve improved quality of life, we’ve reduced the cost of living, we’ve already delivered on what everyone else on this stage is promising. I’m Samantha Pratt, and I’m the one who can keep that going.
Annie: And finally, former state speaker of the house Hank Matthews.
Hank: I’m Hank Matthews, and I am a workhorse. I worked hard as speaker to deliver for you.
Gretchen: The only think he worked hard was my last nerve.
Hank: I was convinced I was done with politics after I lost my race in 2024, but I was beckoned back to the political stage because I know Rhode Island needs me. They need a common-sense leader who can actually work.
Gretchen: Wake me up when they aren’t all saying meaningless platitudes.
Carol: Then you’d sleep through the whole thing!
A bit later…
Annie: Lieutenant governor Pratt, you have stated that you’re the one who can keep up the momentum of the Raymond administration. However, you are not the candidate on the stage that’s been endorsed by Governor Raymond herself.
Carrie: That’s right!
Annie: Why do you think the governor didn’t decide to endorse her own #2?
Gretchen: Governor Raymond has always been a maverick who refuses to play by the rules. She clearly sees something in senator Lione, and it’s something I don’t necessarily see myself. She has a sharp mind for politics, but she does’t have the experience to actually fulfill any of her campaign promises. I do!
Hank: I don’t think you answered the question.
Jeanne: Because the truth is that no one knows better how disastrous the lieutenant governor has been in office than the governor. This is a woman who barely works at all. She rarely seems to ever know where she is or what’s going on around her.
Samantha: At least my own husband is supporting me. Can you say the same, Hank?
Hank: Excuse me?
Samantha: You’re a cheater!
Carrie: Look, I don’t really appreciate the personal smears going on around me. I’ve had disagreements with everyone on this stage, but I think getting personal and attacking peoples’ character at a debate is just beyond the pale.
Hank: Now you’re just trying to be a kiss-ass.
Carrie: I was defending you!
Rob: You know, I’m also here.
Jeanne: Are you?
Gretchen: My god… are the Republicans going to win this election?
Carol: They probably should.
Gretchen: Nah, let’s not go that far. They’re probably spending their debate arguing over which one of them is the least-vaccinated.
Annie: All right, moving back to the debate… senator Lione, you are the polling favorite, but it’s still a very open race.
Carrie: Well aware!
Annie: Your opponents say that your entire campaign has just been propped up by governor Raymond.
Gretchen: I’m not running! Why are the questions all about me?
Annie: Do you think you’d be seeing this success without an endorsement from the governor?
Carrie: I have so much respect for the governor, and I’m honored to have her support. She’s a fantastic leader who has moved our state forward. I hope to win this election and count on her as an advisor to my administration. However, I think it’s my message that is resonating with the voters. An endorsement is flashy, but people are smart enough to see past that.
Gretchen: You’re overestimating voters, dear.
Carol: Having met so many voters recently… she truly is.
Carrie: People look at the policies and the character and integrity of the individuals running for office. They can see I’m truly passionate about working for them, and that would happen with or without an endorsement.
Jeanne: Gretchen Raymond is simply trying to remain relevant by hitching her name to someone young and impressionable. She knows she’d have no sway over me. But if you want a third Raymond term, by all means, vote for Lione.
Carrie: She’s quite popular, I don’t know why you insist on attacking her. Although, that’s what you’ve spent the last eight years doing. Your sole purpose each day has been coming into work to stop the governor from moving our state forward. It’s actually sad to me, to see someone so overtly obsessed with maintaining the status quo. Do you have any actual views of your own, or do you just do what your donors tell you?
Jeanne: Wow! I didn’t know you could be so fiery! Kind of dispels that “happy warrior” image, no?
Carrie: I believe you came for my character first and implied I’d just be a puppet for governor Raymond. I find that hypocritical, given you’ve been a puppet for every corporate entity in this state who profit off of delaying progress.
Samantha: You know who has worked with governor Raymond to push back on Jeanne Riverro’s non-stop meddling? Me!
Gretchen: Dear god.
Carol: I think Carrie is coming out of here looking the least embarrassing. That’s something!
Gretchen: This is like the Real Housewives of Rhode Island.
Hank: I never cheated on my wife!
Samantha: We moved past that, Hank!
Carrie: I think that’s your own personal business and it doesn’t belong on this debate state. I’m not sure why you’re spending so much time discussing it!
Hank: I need to clear my name!
Jeanne: He is a cheater, by the way.
Carol: Should we be watching this?
Gretchen: Of course we should, it’s incredibly entertaining. I don’t even know how we got back on this subject, and I don’t care. Must-see TV.
What did you think of the season premiere of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new Raymond Island next Sunday!
