Aimee walks through the door of Victoria’s DC home.
Aimee: God, must you do this here?
Victoria: In my house? Yes.
Aimee: I’m sorry I’m cranky, it’s just… god. What a night.
Victoria: What a night indeed!
Dave: I told her not to be so obnoxious about this once you got home. She refused to listen.
Victoria (singing, off-key): This must be just like livin’ in paradise!
Dave: Okay, that’s enough of that.
Victoria: This was a beautiful day! Sharon Campbell is finally gone! That dimwit Aileen Frankel doesn’t have to play politician anymore! Texas is going to go blue!
Aimee: Yes, it’s all wonderful. I’m going to go cry in my bed, face-down.
Victoria: You guys held Iowa! Don’t be so down!
Aimee: Don’t remind me! She’s the one I wanted to lose!
Dave: I think let’s just leave Aimee - and the wine - alone for the night.
Victoria: How else will I celebrate without wine?
Dave: You seem plenty energized to me, no need to add more alcohol to it.
Victoria: You’re not my dad!
Dave: I am well aware of that.
A bit later that night…
Dave: Honey, how you doing?
Aimee: I am screwed, Dave!
Dave: What do you mean?
Aimee: We couldn’t hold on to Louisiana! How am I supposed to get re-elected in two years?
Dave: A lot can happen in two years.
Aimee: Yeah, it can get even worse!
Dave: Not quite what I meant.
Aimee: But it’s the truth! Do you think this country’s going to be turned around in a way that appeases the voters in just two years?
Dave: I don’t know anything. I though Delphy was done in the last election.
Aimee: He should’ve been! We might’ve held Mississippi if he was! And we’d have a more competent president in charge! Ah!
Dave: I know it’s frustrating. But you’re a fighter, and you’ve defied the odds before.
Aimee: Not like this. I see the writing on the wall, it’s over. We’re on track to lose about seven seats, most of them in Republican-leaning states. I represent one of the bluest states in the country. I’d say I need to make these last two years count, but I don’t even know how to do that - we’re on track for thirty-three seats in the Senate!
Dave: And they did that without a seat in Illinois and Washington?
Aimee: Don’t be impressed by them!
Dave: You do know I’m an independent, I speak without bias.
Aimee: God, this was a midterm so bad, even my own husband stabbed the party in the back.
Dave: I’m just surprised you even care that much, honey. You’ve never been blinded by partisanship.
Aimee: A lot of these people that lost are my friends. And also Aileen Frankel. I was okay with that one. But I’m conference chair, of course I’m bummed that we got absolutely shellacked. Plus, the Democrats will have no reason to work across the aisle if they have a veto-proof majority.
Dave: I just don’t think these are things worth stressing about right now. It was a bad night for your party, but you’re going to be okay. Don’t let it get you down too much. In fact, if the Democrats come up short in Alaska or Montana, you’ll have more power than ever!
Aimee: How do you figure?
Dave: You can be the sole decider on overriding vetoes if there are sixty-six Democrats, no? You can campaign on being responsible for enacting popular aspects of the Democratic agenda.
Aimee: Wow, you’ve been thinking about this.
Dave: I’ve been thinking of ways to cheer you up. It’s my job!
Aimee: You are so sweet! Unlike my aunt…
Dave: Hey, it’s an exciting night for her. Try not to take it personal. You know she’d never want to hurt your feelings.
Aimee: I guess. It is her house, too.
Dave: Very good point! We’re lucky she even lets us stay here, we can put up with her libbing out.
Aimee: Remember when I used to sleep in my office? God, in hindsight, that was absolutely terrible!
Dave: It wasn’t fun for me, either. I had to stay in Washington!
Aimee: You loved it, come on!
Dave: I did not love being on the opposite side of the country from my wife.
Aimee: But you did love not having to live in DC.
Dave: Yeah, that was pretty great.
The next day…
Aimee: Guys…
Geraldine: Rough night last night, no?
Greg: It could have been worse! We flipped Montana, we defended Alaska and Iowa, the list ends.
Aimee: I’m really sorry about Aileen, by the way. I know you were counting on me to save that seat.
Greg: God, I barely even thought of her. It was such an ass-kicking, what would that one seat have helped?
Geraldine: Plus, it’s probably for the best that in a caucus so small, someone so idiotic doesn’t have any sway. She barely even knew what was going on.
Aimee: She was getting the hang of it!
Geraldine: Was she?
Aimee: No, but I really tried.
Greg: What are we gonna do, guys?
Geraldine: Is it too late to become Democrats?
Greg: I don’t know if that’d go over so well back at home.
Geraldine: It would for Aimee!
Aimee: Look, I’m committed to the GOP until the wheels fall off.
Geraldine: Three of them already have. We’re a car wobbling along on a single wheel, ready to crash.
Aimee: Is that even physically possible?
Geraldine: I don’t know, Aimee! We lost the popular vote by fifteen points, I’m not concerned with physics.
Aimee: You’re so lucky Gwen’s not here to hear that. She would make such a nasty joke about the education level of Republican voters.
Geraldine: I mean, you kinda just made it for her.
Aimee: No, I made an observation. I didn’t say “Typical Republican, not knowing how physics works” like she would.
Greg: Well, you did now.
Aimee: Anyway, have you heard from any of the defeated senators?
Greg: Yeah, they’re not happy.
Aimee: Well, I wouldn’t expect them to be. What politician has ever been happy to lose? We’re addicted to power!
Greg: Sharon went on a lengthy, profanity-laden rant about how I betrayed her by not sending her enough money.
Geraldine: She did keep it fairly close, considering the lean of her state, but I don’t think another ten million dollars was going to save anything.
Greg: Also, it wasn’t even my choice. Olivia is head of the NRSC, not me!
Geraldine: You chose her at the head, she famously hates Sharon… I see the logic.
Greg: No! You’re not allowed to see the logic! This loss is not on me!
Aimee: It’s the president’s fault. Just, it is.
Geraldine: I’d love nothing more than to say this isn’t on me at all. I don’t think I can. I think we all played a part in this. We haven’t been delivering.
Aimee: The post-mortem begins!
Geraldine: We have to regroup. What we’re doing isn’t working. We just lost six Senate seats!
Greg: And gained one! Losing five in a midterm isn’t so bad!
Geraldine: We only had thirty-nine seats to begin with, losing five is quite bad.
Greg: I’m feeling very judged.
Geraldine: We’re losers, Greg! We have to judge ourselves, everyone else already is!
Aimee: I’m not used to seeing this from you two. You usually get along so well.
Geraldine: I guess I’m taking last night’s results out on Greg, and I apologize. It just frustrated me when you didn’t take responsibility. We all had a hand in this, and things won’t get better if we pretend this is just fine and dandy. We need to strategize and try to turn things around for 2028. We can’t afford to lose any further ground.
Aimee: And, not to doom, but I’m pretty confident I’m on my way out then. We couldn’t win Mississippi, how in the hell are we going to win Washington?
Greg: You did it once!
Aimee: Greg, you have to get your head out of the clouds. I say this to help you.
Greg: Last night was traumatic. I guess I’m just in denial about the new political reality.
Aimee: Well, it’s not really a new reality. We’re just going from the minority to even deeper into the minority. It’s less scary when you put it that way, no?
Geraldine: I just can’t even comprehend the fact that Kansas and Louisiana have two Democratic senators now.
Greg: I don’t know why you keep dwelling on the negatives.
Geraldine: What positives are there to discuss?
Greg: We get to welcome five new senators-elect next week!
Geraldine: Five new members who barely won and now want our heads!
Greg: Negative Nancy over here…
Geraldine: I’m being realistic.
Aimee: Here we go again.
Later that week…
Cherie: How you feeling, honey?
Kimmy: Amazing!
Cherie: Not you, dear.
Kimmy: It’s never me. It’s always Aimee.
Aimee: Hey, you’re one of her two kids that she actually talks to, so be happy about that.
Cherie: I talk to all of my children! The others just don’t live here, so I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like.
Ernesto: Trust me, she’s on the phone a lot. You should see the phone bill!
Aimee: I was just pulling your leg a bit, mom. I know you love all of us kids.
Kimmy: Only one of them is a US Senator, though.
Aimee: But probably not for much longer, based on this week.
Cherie: You got two years left no matter what!
Dave: That’s what I told her! Make ‘em count!
Victoria: You should become a Democrat, dear. It’s all the rage.
Aimee: I’m not a turncoat. You can’t abandon ship when the water gets a bit rough.
Victoria: You do if it’s taking on water and beginning to capsize.
Aimee: Not me!
Ernesto: Remind me to never get on a boat with her.
Kimmy: I’m lost on what we’re discussing here. Why are we talking about boats?
Aimee: It was an analogy. I won’t leave the Republican Party just to save my job. I’m committed to conservative governance, even if I am a political moderate. I won’t be driven out of my party by extremists.
Victoria: Big mistake! Huge!
Cherie: As much as I hate to say it, honey, the party hasn’t exactly been loyal to you. Not like you deserve. They censured you. Multiple times!
Aimee: I do recall that, yes. Water under the bridge.
Cherie: Maybe it shouldn’t be.
Aimee: I’m the conference chair! I’m not leaving the party. It was one bad election, and yeah, I’ll probably lose in the next. But that’s not enough for me to abandon my values.
Kimmy: Maybe your values should evolve.
Aimee: No! You can’t just change your beliefs because one election didn’t go your way.
Kimmy: It’s more than one election now, no? 2026, 2024, 2022… you guys keep losing Senate seats.
Cherie: But my Aimee pulled it off in 202 anyway!
Kimmy: If only the Republicans could be lucky enough to run against attempted murderers in every state!
The next week…
Greg: Everyone, welcome, and thank you for coming today. I know that this room is emptier than usual, but I assure you, all Republican senators and senators-elect who will be serving in the 120th Congress have been gracious enough to give us their time for today’s meeting.
Geraldine: This was a tough election, but we’re through it now, and it’s now time to get to work on deciding how we’ll continue to govern as a minority here in the Senate.
Janie: With new leaders, hopefully!
Greg: Excuse me?
Janie: Come on, you can’t seriously think you deserve to stick around.
Maurine: Three straight cycles of apocalyptic results, Greg.
Greg: Look, I understand the rage some of you feel -
Maurine: Do you? You seem completely unfit for the moment.
Persephone: I really don’t think anger and fury will help us turn things around. We’re in a bad enough place so as it is, we need to stay united.
Maurine: Sticking with what isn’t working won’t help, either. It’s time for new leadership.
Geraldine: Guys, this is just an event to get acquainted with our new members and discuss strategy. We’ll have leadership elections at a later date.
Maurine: We need to begin the discussions now, though.
Janie: I think having a conference chair that’s not essentially a Democrat would be a good start.
Lynette: Leave Aimee alone!
Alec: Shh!
Janie: I know you guys have your little clique, which somehow also includes the radical leftist Gwen Gardenia, but you have to be honest: what has she done to help this party? I know what she’s doing to help the Democrat Party, but not ours.
Aimee: I have been a very loyal member of this conference. Yes, I vote with the Democrats from time to time. I represent Washington, and I try to be true to my constituents. I was elected campaigning as a bipartisan dealmaker -
Janie: You were elected because your opponent tried to have someone taken out. You’re not some otherworldly political talent just because you managed to win against Charles Manson!
Aimee: And you almost lost Iowa! I don’t think we can gain much insight from you, either.
Greg: Everyone, hush!
Maurine: We want to be heard, Greg. We deserve an alternative to more of the same.
Liza: Guys, ignore them. They’re a very loud, obnoxious minority.
Geraldine: No, I think all of our members deserve to be heard. If you want to run for leadership, you are free to do so. I’m more than willing to defend my record, and so are senators Sherwood and Ferrera Donahue. Until the time comes for an election, though, this is tabled. We have uniting to do.
Aimee: Yeah, I’d say so.
What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
