Teri walks downstairs for breakfast.
Teri: Do you guys ever have a dream that makes you wake up and just think something bad’s going to happen? Like, I don’t know what exactly happened in my dream,, but I can’t shake this feeling of dread since I opened my eyes.
Betty: That’s it, I’m not going to work today.
Cindy: Mom, I don’t think Teri is clairvoyant.
Betty: We don’t know that for sure!
Cindy: We have a pretty good idea.
Betty: Dreams happen for a reason!
Jerry: We’re getting a lot of inventory delivered that has to be unpacked. You’re coming in to work.
Betty: I don’t think I can really be of much assistance there anyway. I’m just a frail old lady.
Jerry: Oh, sure. That’s what you claim when you need to get out of something…
Betty: It’s just the truth. I try to be truthful.
Karl: Honey, if you really feel uneasy about coming in to work because Teri had a bad dream, then I’m willing to pick up the slack for you. I don’t want you to come in and spend the whole day worried.
Cindy: You’re buying this?
Karl: Happy wife, happy life.
Teri: I want to jump in and defend my honor here. My dreams have been quite accurate. I dreamed that Rob from Love Island was going to win The Traitors and he did!
Cindy: We all knew that Rob from Love Island was going to win The Traitors!
Alysa: Hey! Spoiler alert! Some of us have been too busy raising babies to watch it!
Teri: It’s not my fault some off us weren’t smart enough to keep it in our pants.
Betty: But you really do need to take notes from them. Hurry up!
Teri: Mom! Stop!
Ralph: All right, so Teri’s dreams are predicting the future. Is that not a symptom of a brain tumor?
Betty: Don’t joke about that, you all know your grandfather died from a brain cancer.
Ralph: I don’t think glioblastoma is hereditary, mom.
Betty: It could be! We don’t know!
Ralph: I assume scientists do.
Teri: I think I’m going to grab my orange juice and watch the Today show.
Ralph: It’s Saturday.
Teri: I record it. Hoda’s on this week, I don’t want to miss that.
Ralph: Fascinating behavior.
Jerry: I’m going to get ready for work, I guess. I will have to do more than usual thanks to… some people.
Betty: Thanks a lot, Mitchell!
Jerry: Not him. But, also him! Why don’t you hire someone else?
Betty: Anyone else here want a job? No. Not hiring anyone else.
Karl: We don’t really make enough money to hire anyone outside the family.
Frank: No one asked, but I’m going to go outside and cut down that giant tree in our yard.
Teri: Hold up. Let me pause the Today show so I can grasp the full extent of this lunacy I’m hearing.
Jerry: You want to cut a huge tree down by yourself?
Frank: I have experience! I worked for a tree-cutting company when I was going through college.
Jerry: That’s not really a level of experience that makes me confident you can do this safely.
Betty: Who said we even want that tree cut down?
Frank: You’re always complaining about it.
Betty: And you want to take my favorite pastime away from me? I don’t think so!
Danielle: I would like it gone.
Betty: You’re an honorary member of this family only, you don’t get a vote.
Danielle: That was unnecessarily rude.
Betty: I’m sorry. I’m just very attached to the tree.
Tammi: You hate that tree.
Betty: We have a rivalry.
Alysa: I think your rivalry with my mom is enough to fulfill you.
Betty: Come on, your mom and I love each other!
Alysa: Sure.
Betty: I know, I love to joke around, but my heart just wasn’t in that time. Some things are too unbelievable to even joke about.
Karl: The tree is partly dead, it’s in an inconvenient place, and it’s an eyesore. I don’t know if Frank can be trusted to cut it himself, but I do agree it’s gotta go.
Frank: Thank you, I think.
Tammi: I trust you, honey. And I’m ready for it to go.
Ralph: Since mom suggested it, how about a vote. Show of hands, who wants Frank to handle this for us?
Betty: Come on! Only Teri is with me?
Teri: Oh, I want it gone, too. I’m just convinced Frank will cut it in a way that makes it fall on the house. You know, my dream and all.
Ralph: Well, the ayes do have it.
Frank: Thank you! I’m going to handle this for us and really show my worth around here.
Jerry: I know a guy who has a backhoe. You wanna borrow it?
Tammi: I… do backhoes help for this?
Jerry: just use it to knock the thing over, it makes it way easier to chop it up and get rid of it. And it takes the roots out too - and it doesn’t leave a stump behind!
Frank: That sounds good to me.
Jerry: I’m sure he’ll be happy to help. He does owe me a favor.
Teri: He’s saying this so cryptically. I’m frightened.
Karl: We all are, dear.
Betty: I think maybe, if Frank is doing this today, it’s safer to just go in to work today.
Jerry: Frank, I could kiss ya!
Ralph: And you guys mocked me for watching Heated Rivalry.
Later that day…
Teri: What’s all that commotion outside? It woke me up.
Ralph: Frank’s taking the tree down. Do you listen?
Teri: Look, I was trying to have my afternoon nap. You don’t think clearly when you’ve just been awoken.
Danielle: I think you slept enough.
Teri: You’re not my mother.
Danielle: No, I’m not. Your actual mother made it clear I’m not family at all!
Teri: You’re still upset about that?
Danielle: It didn’t make me feel great.
Teri: She didn’t mean it. You know how she gets when she’s going off on her tangents.
Danielle: I do. She’s quite blunt.
Alysa: Is he going to be out there long? Caitlin is screaming, she’s very bothered by the loud noises.
Tammi: Well, he hasn’t knocked the tree down yet. And then he’ll be using the chainsaw…
Ralph: I certainly hope Anita doesn’t pull up some HOA ordinance about this and try to stop him. I want that tree gone.
Danielle: Why’d you have to go and give Alysa ideas?
Alysa: I would never rat you guys out. I certainly wouldn’t sic my mom upon you guys. I know how she is.
Tammi: I trust you.
Alysa: Thank you.
Tammi: Some mothers would say you seduced my son and then trapped him into marriage and parenthood before he even graduated high school, but I don’t! I think you’re wonderful.
Alysa: Okay.
Everyone hears a loud crashing noise.
Teri: Okay, I know that was not supposed to happen.
Ralph: What the hell was that?
Tammi: I should go outside and investigate.
Alysa: I think I might need to take Caitlin to the basement.
Teri: She’s retreating. Was that sound Anita breaking into our house to shove the HOA handbook in our faces?
Alysa: That’s not mom’s style. She usually just calls the cops for urgent matters, or sends strongly-worded letters if not.
Tammi walks outside.
Frank: It’s not what it looks like!
Tammi: What am I looking at?
Rick: I’m not that acquainted with the layout of the grounds here, but that does appear to be a tree on your garage.
Frank: No! Wrong! Go back inside, Rick.
Rick: You know, I’m old, but I’m not senile.
Frank: Of course not. Now, I think Jeanette’s calling for you.
Rick: Dammit, she’s always calling for me! I’m so sick of this broken hip!
Tammi: Explain to me exactly what happened here.
Frank: I promised I’d take the tree down. I did deliver on that.
Tammi: It’s fallen on the carport!
Frank: Mistakes happen!
Tammi: My car was in there!
The back door opens and Teri, Ralph, Danielle and Cindy run out.
Cindy: Oh my god.
Teri: I told you something bad was going to happen today! Did I not?
Danielle: You might actually have a gift.
Ralph: Don’t encourage this.
Danielle: I’m not convinced this is totally coincidental! I think Teri saw something!
Tammi: I see something! My car, crushed by a tree!
Frank: At least you weren’t in it.
Tammi: This is the worst thing you’ve ever done.
Teri: I’m sure the’s not true. He was born once, that was pretty bad.
Tammi: I think I need to just go inside and maybe cry.
Cindy: Do you want me to come with?
Tammi: Yeah, I could use the moral support.
Frank: I think I might’ve messed up.
Teri: You think?
Danielle: Might have?
Frank: How do I begin to fix this?
Teri: You have money for a new car? That might help;
Frank: She loves that car.
Teri: That’s barely even a car at this point. It’s mostly just loose metal pieces and tires.
Danielle: I’ve seen junkyard cars that look better.
Frank: I know it’s bad! What do I do?
Ralph: I think it’s also worth pointing out that the carport has caved in. You know, because of a tree being on top of it.
Teri: We noticed.
Frank: No one is helping me here!
Teri: You made your bed, man. Time to lie in it.
Frank: You take glee from this.
Teri: I do. This is absolutely beautiful, aside from the part where the carport is destroyed and we don’t have anywhere to park now.
Ralph: There were only two cars that could be parked there, anyway. Thank god Jerry and mom aren’t. Around, or else Frank would’ve destroyed two cars.
Frank: This is Jerry’s fault! That backhoe caused this!
Teri: I think it was more the backhoe driving it.
Frank: Your commentary isn’t helpful right now!
Teri: But I’m really enjoying giving it!
Danielle: maybe we should just go inside and let Frank contemplate all his life choices out here alone. He’s clearly quite shaken up.
Frank: I could use moral support!
Teri: Nah!
A bit later, Teri calls Betty.
Teri: mom!
Betty: I’m very busy, dear. Is this an emergency? If not, maybe you can call back later.
Teri: Frank knocked the tree down on the carport and crushed Tammi’s car under it.
Betty: What?
Karl: What’s going on? You seem concerned.
Betty: Frank dropped the tree on Tammi’s car! And he ruined the carport!
Karl: Teri did warn us against his. Maybe she is clairvoyant.
Teri: Thank you, dad! Tell dad I said thank you.
Betty: She said thank you.
Karl: You’re welcome, dear.
Steven: Mom must be very upset. She loves that car more than me.
Jerry: That’s… only true as of roughly eleven months ago.
Betty: I can’t believe this. I mean, I can, and I knew something bad would happen. But I also didn’t see it ending like this.
Karl: At least it didn’t land on the house!
Betty: I’d already be on my way home to kill him if that happened.
Meanwhile, Frank has gone to his dad’s apartment to get advice.
Calvin: So, son, what brings you here?
Frank: You don’t have to do the whole pastor routine on me, dad.
Calvin: Ah, sorry. Hard to snap out of it sometimes.
Frank: I tried to be helpful around the house and cut down a pesky tree we all disliked. I instead knocked it down on top of the carport and crushed Tammi’s car in the process.
Calvin: Oh, that’s bad.
Frank: It’s not good.
Calvin: Is she aware?
Frank: Yeah. And she’s furious.
Calvin: How bad is the damage?
Frank: The car is totaled.
Calvin: Okay. Have you considered getting an alternate identity and starting your life anew?
Frank: Dad!
Calvin: I kid. You have to give her time and space and then, when she’s ready to talk, ask for forgiveness. In the process, take steps to make up for what you’ve done. Do you have the money to buy her a new car?
Frank: I can scrape up the cash.
Calvin: Well, do that.
Frank: Does God usually encourage buying forgiveness.
Calvin: No, but as a father, I have to. Do it, or you are screwed.
Frank: You always know just what to say.
Calvin: That’s why I’m in charge around here! Well, not here per se. But at church.
Later that day…
Frank: Jesus, a fine from the HOA? I’m ignoring that.
Frank walks into the house.
Tammi: I don’t want to hear it! I am so mad at you!
Frank: It’s okay. You don’t have to forgive me. But I do need you to know I went to every car dealer in the area, and I finally found the exact car that you had. I know Ursula was irreplaceable to you, but I hope you’ll come to love this car just the same.
Tammi: That is something worth hearing. Thank you. I may consider letting you sleep in bed tonight rather than on the couch.
Frank: Excellent!
Betty: What are we doing about the giant tree laying in our yard?
Frank: I got a guy coming for that tomorrow.
Betty: Thank god.
Teri: So everything’s resolved. How lovely!
Karl: Not quite everything. We still don’t know if you’re clairvoyant or not.
Teri: In my heart, I know.
What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
