Gretchen arrives at the capitol for a bill-signing ceremony.
Gretchen: Carol, where are Mary and Jeanne?
Carol: Gretchen, it’s so great to have you back!
Gretchen: This is the third time you’ve said that today.
Carol: I’m just so happy to have you. Being shadow governor is very stressful! They make you do things!
Gretchen: Yeah, I’m aware.
Carol: Not to mention, I had to babysit Pratt to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.
Gretchen: Well, that’s a full-time job.
Sarita: To answer your question, since it seems like Carol doesn’t want to, Mary says she’s on her way, Jeanne isn’t coming. She refuses to be pictured with Carrie.
Gretchen: Wow, works for me. I get to put Carrie front and center, and I don’t have to see Jeanne!
Carol: Have you decided on that endorsement, by the way?
Gretchen: Well, my mom delayed it, but we’re going forward as-planned with it. We’ll figure out the details next week. For now, this gun control bill is getting the attention. I’m very proud of it.
Sarita: I feel like gun control is an issue that’s been really brushed to the side lately. I’m glad we haven’t given up on it.
Gretchen: Well, I haven’t abandoned my principles, but I guess a lot of Democrats are focused on bigger issues right now, given the current administration. I’m in a position to act, they aren’t. A terrible shame for them, but an opportunity for me to prove I’m still a liberal lion leading the charge. I’m getting done what I promised on the campaign trail.
Carol: And all it took was for your sister to run for house, win, and become speaker at a genuinely unfounded speed.
Gretchen: And that happened because I am the kingmaker. This state is mine, long may I reign.
Carol: You’ve got about seven months left.
Gretchen: Don’t remind me!
Carol: Maybe everyone will just forget your term ended and you can quietly stay on as governor.
Gretchen: I have my doubts.
Carol: Either way, no use in stressing about it.
Carrie: Governor Raymond, thank you so much for inviting me to be here. This is a landmark piece of legislation, and I’m so happy to have been a part in passing it. I think it’s unfortunate that the majority leader didn’t care to be here due to petty reasons entirely unrelated to this bill.
Gretchen: Look, I wasn’t hankering to see her again, anyway.
Carrie: How are you holding up? I know it’s been such a tough time for you, and for Speaker Raymond.
Gretchen: It’s hard to get used to not having my mom around. She was a very opinionated woman, she was always giving my advice - advice rarely ever asked for. It’s been tough. But, life goes on, and I have responsibilities. Work is a good way to keep my mind off of it, too.
Carrie: You’ve been on my mind. I can’t imagine being in your situation, having so many eyes on me at such a tough time.
Gretchen: Well, you’re going to be the next governor, so I’m sure you’ll have moments like this. Hopefully not your mom, but trust me, you’ll be tested, and there will be moments you don’t want to be in the public eye.
Carrie: There’s no guarantee I’ll win. There are very strong candidates running.
Gretchen: Did someone else jump in while I was in my haze?
Carrie: No, it’s just Pratt and Rivero and Seider and Matthews.
Gretchen: I always forget Seider’s running. But, point stands. Not a terribly impressive field in my eyes. I beat two of them myself last time! You can surely do it!
Carrie: We’ll see. I’m not taking anything for granted.
Gretchen: As well you shouldn’t. Politics is a fickle, fickle game.
Mary: All right, let’s get this thing moving. I don’t have all day.
Gretchen: We were the ones waiting for you!
Mary: And I’m here now!
Carrie: It’s good to see you, madam speaker.
Mary: And you as well. Where’s Pratt?
Carol: Probably got lost in a closet somewhere.
Gretchen: Come on, she’s not that scatterbrained.
Sarita: I just had to work closer with her for two weeks. Trust me, she is absolutely that scatterbrained.
Gretchen: Well, she’ll be here.
Mary: Better not be long! And where’s Jeanne?
Gretchen: She’s not coming.
Carrie: She acts like a child.
Gretchen: You don’t have to tell me. I had to deal with her and Hank for years!
Carrie: And now, I have to deal with them!
Gretchen: Lucky you.
Samantha: My god, I thought I’d never get here!
Gretchen: Lotta traffic in the hallway?
Samantha: No, outside!
Gretchen: There’s always traffic.
Samantha: Not like this! They had flags on their trucks, there were people marching on the street with drums. A couple people seemed to have guns, which I think this bill makes illegal. I had to disguise myself in my car to avoid being attacked by these terrifying people.
Gretchen: That would explain you having your head wrapped like Susan Sarandon in Thelma & Louise.
Carol: And here, I thought she converted to Islam.
Samantha: I would never do that! Respect the religion deeply, but Christmas is too good to pass up.
Gretchen: of course your religious background is guided by holidays.
Carol: I guess everyone’s here, time to sign some bills.
Gretchen: We should probably wait for the press, no?
Samantha: I’m telling you, they’re more concerned about what’s going on outside.
Gretchen: I think the passage of the most through gun control legislation in America is much more interesting to the press than some cars circling outside.
Carol: I wish I could have the same faith in the press that you have.
Thirty minutes later…
William Shayman (head of Rhode Island Capitol Police): Everyone, please do not panic!
Gretchen: Sir, who are you? We’re having a ceremony here.
William: I am officer William Shayman, director of the Rhode Island Capitol Police. Due to security reasons, the capitol is on lockdown. I ask that everyone please cooperate, and if possible, make their way to a secure location.
Gretchen: Excuse me?
Samantha: I told you something fishy was going on!
Gretchen: What security reasons?
William: There are armed protesters outside, we have reason to suspect this could turn violent.
Gretchen: What are they protesting?
William: You’re here to sign a gun control bill into law, and they’re all toting guns. I’m going to guess it’s about that bill.
Gretchen: Oh my god.
Carrie: Are they trying to do another insurrection?
Carol: Oh, thank god Susana isn’t here!
Gretchen: That’s what you’re thinking of?
Carol: Yes, my daughter’s safety is incredibly important to me.
Gretchen: We might die!
William: You are perfectly safe, governor Raymond. No one has breached the capitol, but they’re swarming the area. We’re just minimizing risk.
Gretchen: Okay, good. So the crazy people with guns haven’t broken through the doors with giant glass panes on them yet, they’re just swarming us like sharks circling prey.
William: The capitol police are monitoring the situation, it’s very possible this is merely a peaceful protest by people trying to make their opposition heard.
Gretchen: It sounds like you’re defending them.
William: No, ma’am. Just explaining why I believe everyone here is safe.
Mary: If it’s safe, why can’t we leave? Like, perhaps to get a calzone from the Italian restaurant across the street.
Gretchen: They’re angry, they have guns, and you’re a prominent liberal. You’re basically the face of this thing!
Mary: No, that’s you!
Jeanne: What is the ruckus out there? There’s people everywhere, and you’re all making a scene in here.
Gretchen: They’re trying to kill me, Jeanne.
William: I don’t believe they are, governor Raymond.
Gretchen: They have guns!
Carol: He seems convinced they’re only protesting, not actually making threats.
William: Of course, brandishing weapons onto government property is illegal in Rhode Island, so they are breaking the law. I don’t think their goal is to hurt, though.
Gretchen: Arrest them, then!
William: We’re trying to handle the situation without escalating it. Safety first, then we worry about the legal aspect. Now, if you could all make your way to locked rooms, that would be great.t
Jeanne: Well, I’m going to my office.
Carrie: Would it be safer to go as high as possible so we’re as far away from the entrance points as possible?
William: I don’t think there’s much risk that anyone will enter, this is just a precaution. You’re all free to go to your own spaces.
Samantha: I still think we should all go to my office, on the top floor.
Carrie: Sounds like a plan to me.
Gretchen: I think -
Samantha: You’re the most important, you’re coming with!
Gretchen: I suppose we should grab Esther, then?
Carol: I don’t think that’s necessary.
In Samantha’s office, Gretchen gets a call from Anthony.
Gretchen: Hello, dear! Finally, a friendly voice! It’s cra-
Anthony: What on earth is going on? Gretchen, there are armed people swarming the street outside our house!
Gretchen: Oh god. Have you turned the news on?
Anthony: I was busy calling the police.
Gretchen: I think they’re a bit busy.
Anthony: What else is going on?
Gretchen: Well, there are people protesting outside the capitol. I’ve been told this is an organized group called the “Rhode Island Patriots for the Second Amendment.” Catchy, right?
Anthony: Why are they at out house? How do they know where our house is?
Samantha: Is that Anthony?
Gretchen: Shut up, Pratt.
Samantha: Got it!
Gretchen: I think our address is public record. And these second amendment people are very angry at me.
Anthony: Gretchen, our son is here. I’m frightened.
Gretchen: Make sure every door is locked. Find a safe space to hide. I will call the police directly and demand attention on it. Everything will be fine, they’re probably just using their first amendment rights. I hope.
Anthony: You hope?
Gretchen: Hope is what you cling to when you’ve got nothing else!
Anthony: Very inspiring poster. Less reassuring in practice. Are we going to be killed or what?
Gretchen: Probably not.
Anthony: Probably?
Gretchen: I’m not Nostradamus, I don’t make predictions about the future.
Anthony: I’m still worried.
Gretchen: That’s a reasonable feeling. I promise you, though, I’m getting all the most qualified people on this. You guys will be okay, I will be okay, it’s all going to be okay.
Anthony: Gretchen, I love you.
Gretchen: I love you, too. Now, you two go hide. I’ll text you any updates I have.
Anthony: Got it.
Gretchen hangs up.
Samantha: Do you think they’d all go away if we decided to scrap this bill and never sign it into law?
Gretchen: We can not do that! We can’t give in to bullies and terrorists.
Samantha: In principle, I agree. It’s harder to keep that stance when you’re the one surrounded by gun-toting lunatics.
Gretchen: Think about your campaign. Do you want it known that you’re the one who bailed on passing a major gun control bill that was already approved by both bodies of the legislature?
Mary: I worked too damn hard on this for it to not be enacted. Besides, it’s already been signed.
Samantha: It was just an idea! I’m trying to deescalate.
Sarita: I think they’re all going to get tired eventually. They’re not moving towards us or anything. They’re all just kinda standing around, a lot of them look old. They don’t want to be on their feet that long.
Gretchen: You willing to bet your life on that?
Sarita: I’m not gonna go out there and socialize with them, but I’d bet they leave before the workday finishes. That’s all.
Mary: Pratt, do you have any snacks? I’m starved, they’re making me miss my lunch!
Samantha: I have a box of Ritz crackers.
Mary: That works!
Carol: I wish we had something entertaining to do.
Sarita: I’m thinking of a number!
Carol: I said entertaining.
Sarita: Justo working with what we’ve got!
Gretchen: This is hell.
Sarita: I’m trying my best!
Later that day, Gretchen arrives home and rushes to Anthony’s arms.
Gretchen: Oh, god! Today was horrible!
Anthony: Tell me about it!
Gretchen: You know what was the hardest part?
Anthony: The insane people with guns a few yards away from your workplace?
Gretchen: Well, yeah, that was pretty bad. But no, I was thinking of what my mom would do. If she were here, she’d have run outside and tried to fight them off herself.
Anthony: So you’re saying she was bound to no longer be with us by this point one way or another?
Gretchen: No!
Anthony: ’Twas a joke.
Gretchen: I just miss her in ways I didn’t realize.
Anthony: That’s not too surprising. I never expected to miss her at all. And yet… I sort of do.
Gretchen: Well, this has been a wonderful welcome back to work. I’m gonna go shower and probably cry. I don’t feel like eating, I ate a lot of Ritz today, so I’m just gonna head to bed.
Anthony: I’ll join you. No one ever tells you how having armed maniacs outside your house protesting and waving guns at you really zaps your energy.
Gretchen: In fairness, it’s not exactly a common experience.
What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
