The Bullpen Season 2 Episode 18: The End of the Season

CAST
Kurt: long-term reliever 

Lorenzo: middle relief pitcher

Jason: left-handed specialist

Robert: 8th inning pitcher/setup man

Bryan: closer

Eli: various relief positions

Garry: Bullpen coach

It’s the end of the regular season, and most of the bullpen members reveal they are going off to do their own things. Kurt is becoming a starting pitcher of another team; Lorenzo is focusing on his restaurant full-time; Jason becomes pitching coach full-time; Robert becomes the closer; Bryan retires to focus on his family; Eli becomes general manager of another team; Garry [guest starring] reveals he led his Little League team to the town’s semi-finals.

(The game ends, and the crowd starts to leave.)
Kurt: That was uneventful.
Lorenzo: Right? Ever since they banned cotton candy the games haven’t been the same.
Jason: They never banned cotton candy, why did you think that?
Robert: I told him they did.

Bryan: That’s one way to keep him off the field.

Eli: The other way would be to not have him pitch.

Kurt: We know, Eli.

Lorenzo: I can’t believe the season’s over.
Kurt: Me neither. Guess now would be the best time for me to tell you all that I’m not coming back next season. I took a role as a starting pitcher on another team. They’re not as good as our team, but that would give me a more important position.
Jason: Are you taking a pay cut?
Kurt: Nope.
Jason: Didn’t think so. Good luck on your new team, I’ll miss you. Then again, I’m also ditching the bullpen. They have an open position for full-time pitching coach and I took it. Not sure why they allowed me to, but they did.
Eli: You’ll be great at it. Or at least, I assume you’ll be better at it than you were at actually pitching. Do you even know how to coach pitchers?
Jason: I do not.
Eli: You should learn then. Otherwise they’ll all want to join the team where I’d be the general manager!
Lorenzo: Very funny, we know you’re not general manager of another team.
Eli: I didn’t tell you?
Bryan: No, you didn’t.
Eli: I’m telling you now then.
Bryan: It’s my last game too.
Lorenzo: You got fired?
Bryan: No, I want to focus on my family. Not sure what my allowance will be, I have to work out those details.
Jason: Bryan, you don’t get an allowance to be a husband and a father.
Bryan: I don’t? I should’ve stayed on the team! I better get a good retirement package.
Robert: OK let’s shift away from Bryan’s delusions.
Bryan: And what are you doing Robert, becoming a pilot?
Robert: No I’m staying here. Taking your closer position though.
Lorenzo: Since you all asked, I’m also leaving. I want to put all my energy into that restaurant of mine.
Jason: You know what? As much as this stadium will miss your antics, I think it’s past time.
Lorenzo: I know for a fact that it’s past time. People want gourmet hot dog ice cream.
Garry: I had a good year coaching.
Eli: Garry! What are you doing here, you scared me?!
Lorenzo: He scares me too.
Garry: You invited me to the game.
Eli: You didn’t come to the game.
Garry: Why would I want to? Anyways, turns out I’m a good coach when the players are people other than all of you.
Jason: Or these players were actually good.
Garry: Nah. Well, they were fine. Nothing on the caliber of the players on this field, but then again no Little Leaguer is.
Bryan: You coached Little League?
Garry: That’s what I just said.
Lorenzo: Awesome! You were on national TV for the Little League World Series, weren’t you?
Garry: No, but we did make our town’s semi-finals?
Eli: How many teams were there?
Garry: Six.
Kurt: Wow, what an accomplishment.
Garry: Thanks.
Kurt: That was sarcasm.
Garry: As was that.
Kurt: OK then. Anyways, I’ll be honest, this is kind of emotional for me. This is the last time we’ll be together as a team!
Bryan: We can still hang out together.
Eli: It’ll be tough, but I’m sure we’ll work something out. Maybe at Lorenzo’s new restaurant!
Jason: For old times, let’s bring it in guys. 1-2-3–
Almost all: TEAM!
Lorenzo: GO!
Robert: And that does it everyone. The end of—do we call ourselves anything?
Jason: How about The Bullpen?
Robert: Basic, but I like it. Goodbye, The Bullpen.
Lorenzo: Bye, The Bullpen.
Eli: So long, The Bullpen.
Bryan: Nice knowing you, The Bullpen.
Kurt: Thanks for making these games exciting, The Bullpen.
Jason: Should we leave now?
Eli: Let’s say it together:
All: Bye, The Bullpen.
Garry: You guys know your team is in the playoffs, right? The Bullpen isn’t done just yet.