Aimee walks out of her private office.
Aimee: You will never guess what I just got tickets for!
Denise: The new Paddington movie?
Aimee: What?
Denise: It was an educated guess. Moms love Paddington almost as much as they love Bluey.
Aimee: Think music!
Denise: Oh… Bonnie Raitt!
Aimee: Bonnie Raitt? I’m not in my seventies like every other senator!
Denise: She’s fantastic in concert!
Aimee: Are you trying to tell me you want me to pull some strings to get you to a Bonnie Raitt concert?
Denise: I mean, it’s not like it’s some sort sort of exclusive event, you can buy the tickets on Ticketmaster. But, yeah.
Aimee: All right, you’re so far off, I might as well just tell you.
Denise: Please do, we have real work to be done.
Aimee: I just got tickets for my family and I to go to Seattle RockIt!
Denise: Is that the rock festival that gets all the big name stars? I always see stuff about that on Twitter.
Aimee: It is indeed!
Denise: I never took you for a rocker!
Aimee: You kidding? I was a teenager growing up in the 90s in Washington while Nirvana was taking the world by storm! We were all rockers!
Denise: You liked Nirvana?
Aimee: Rock was my thing! I was so different back then! I was cool!
Denise: You’re still cool… for a senator.
Aimee: I'd hope I’m cool in comparison to a bunch of people knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door.
Alma: Hey! How are you? Why are you hiding in here?
Aimee: Speaking of which… Senator Fredham, what are you doing here?
Gwen: Oh, Aimee, I’m so sorry. Melody and Mildred are both out with strep throat, so I’m on Alma duty. She can really slip away from you if you aren’t looking.
Aimee: Has anyone considered a retirement home?
Gwen: Not her family! So we get to endure the “Alma Fredham experience.”
Aimee: Well, it’s sort of killing my celebration.
Gwen: What are we celebrating?
Alma: Whee!
Gwen: Alma! Don’t spin in the chair! You’ll hurt yourself!
Denise: You should pawn her off on Kylie Sylvan, she’s her closest intellectual equal.
Gwen: I couldn’t do that to humanity. One is bad enough. Two in the same room…
Aimee: I’m celebrating getting tickets to the Seattle RockIt festival. It’s in two weeks, I really didn’t think I’d be able to get tickets. Thankfully, I worked my magic and convinced the organizers to spare a few tickets.
Gwen: Ah, classic corruption! Proud of you!
Aimee: It’s not corruption.
Gwen: Asking favors from a position of power? It’s not not corruption.
Aimee: That’s just, like, your opinion, man.
Denise: It’s a little corrupt.
Aimee: It’s not corrupt.
Alma: It’s corrupt.
Aimee: Stay out of it! You don’t even remember your own name!
Alma: That’s not very nice!
Aimee: I know, I know. I’m sorry, Alma.
Alma: Who’s Alma?
Gwen: All right, we’re gonna go.
Denise: Yeah, we were in the middle of a very important discussion about which senators are cool.
Gwen: Oh, that’s easy. None of us.
The next day…
Aimee: Hey, guys. Thanks for meeting with me.
Geraldine: You say that as if we’re busy.
Greg: You know what we were doing before you called and asked to meet? Playing Monopoly. Do you know how long a game of Monopoly takes?
Aimee: Quite a while.
Greg: We were playing for six hours. Not one person called us. Not one person did so much as knock on the door. We heard a noise once, thought it was someone here to meet with us. It was the janitor, bumping into the door with his cart.
Aimee: The minority isn’t that bad! We still write bills! We still take part in the floor discussion!
Greg: The Democrats like you, Aimee. That’s not a bad thing, at least someone in this conference has influence. But we are partisan Republicans. They don’t confer with us on their bills. They don’t consider ours. They don’t need our votes, so we’re irrelevant. Being leader of this conference gives us about as much influence as one of those dog mayors.
Aimee: Is it really that bad?
Geraldine: Our main responsibility is currently trying to find candidates that can flip seats next year, not to get us the majority, but to get us at least forty-one seats. As I know you’re aware, that’s not really supposed to be our job. There’s a guy for that. Things have just been so disastrous the we’ve had to be a bit more hands-on. Not that my last attempt at fielding candidates went well in any sense of the word.
Aimee: Hey, the next election should at least be a Democratic midterm, no? That’ll be good for us!
Geraldine: One would hope! I’ve reached a point where hope is futile. We’ll see how it goes!
Aimee: Well, with all this optimism and feelings of importance, I suppose you won’t mind me saying I’m going tom miss all of the votes that take place two Fridays from now.
Greg: Aimee, half the conference barely even shows up at this point. Take March off, no one would notice.
Aimee: You know, I feel like this may be part of why we’re not connecting with voters. If feels like we don’t take the job s-
Geraldine: Aimee, do you want the day off or not?
Aimee: I very much do.
Geraldine: Stop while you’re ahead. Our defenses are down. Take advantage of that!
Aimee: All right, see you guys later!
Two weeks later…
Victoria: Isn’t it nice that Aimee got us these great tickets? I’ve always wanted to go to this festival, now I get to because of Aimee!
Kimmy: Yeah, she’s great.
Cherie: We’ve been here before.
Victoria: No we haven’t!
Cheri: Yes we have!
Victoria: I think I’d remember it if we did. Think of all the legends that have been at this festival over the years!
Cherie: We came here every year when they started it back in the 70s.
Victoria: Oh, that would explain it. I don’t remember most of the 1970s.
Kimmy: Why not?
Victoria: As part of a legal settlement, I’m not allowed to talk about it.
Ernesto: Do you guys think mom is okay at home alone?
Cherie: Are you kidding? She’s more lively and alert than any of us!
Ernesto: That’s not saying much! Look around you! We look like Fleetwood Mac, after the breakups and cocaine.
Victoria: That was part of why I don’t remember the 70s.
Cherie: We don’t need to go there.
Dave: In our defense, the drive here is why we all look so strung-out and disheveled. Something about a major event just makes people entirely forget how to drive.
Ernesto: You don’t have to mock me like that! I did the best I could!
Cherie: Yes, he does have to mock you like that. I thought you were going to get us killed.
Ernesto: I’d like to see you drive better!
Cherie: I will be doing so on the way home.
Dave: I actually wasn’t referring to you.
Cherie: You don’t need to flatter him.
Kimmy: So what’s the schedule here? Who are we seeing today?
Aimee: I don’t know.
Kimmy: You don’t know? You dragged us here and you don’t even know who’s playing the festival?
Aimee: I trust the organizers. I’ve been trying to get tickets for decades, I was always too busy, and this year, I figured “screw it, I’m going.” Whoever it is is gonna be great.
Dave: I heard Jack Skye is headlining.
Aimee: I… uh… the names’ vaguely familiar?
Cherie: Never heard of him. Kids these days…
Kimmy: He’s huge on social media. I see him on TikTok all the time.
Ernesto: That means almost nothing to me.
Victoria: A TikToker, that’s not exactly what I expect at a rock festival.
Kimmy: He’s a rock singer. People really love him. I think he’s won some Grammys.
Cherie: We’re going to have a good time today, no matter what. Maybe this Jack guy can surprise us.
Aimee: Even if he sucks, which I’m sure he won’t, it’s going to be a day of good music and fun.
Kimmy: Followed by the drive home from hell.
Ernesto: I’m not a bad driver!
Cherie: Only sometimes.
Ernest: No, never!
Cherie: Sure.
Later that day…
Aimee: All right, the big headliner! We digging this?
Victoria: I’m cold.
Cherie: Yeah whose idea was it to do this outside in March?
Aimee: I think the cold weather is supposed to add to the “edgy,” “cool” aspect of it.
Cherie: Frostbite isn’t edgy. It’s just upsetting.
Kimmy: Funny, that’s exactly how I feel about conservative comedy!
Cherie: Oh, you did’t have to bring politics into this!
Dave: Shh! The show is starting!
Ernesto: Thank you for shutting the-
Dave: Shh!
Ernesto: Okay!
Jack: Hey, Seattle! How are you feeling? Glad to hear it! I am so excited to be here today, I have dreamt my whole life about playing a festival as big as this one. Legends are made on this stage, and it’s an honor to get to play some old hits and some new stuff for you tonight. First, though, some business to attend to.
Cherie: Is this a bit he usually does? Rock stars don’t usually have business to attend to.
Dave: Shh!
Jack: Seattle, your senator is here!
Victoria: She sure is! That’s my niece, right here! Woo-hoo!
Jack: Aimee Ferrera Donahue, I know you’re listening, I know you’re in the crowd, and I need you to stop being complicit.
Aimee: That took a turn.
Jack: This president is out there committing atrocities on a daily basis, unchecked, and you dutifully stand behind him. You have no courage, you let him do whatever, it’s disgraceful.
Aimee: That’s not even… does he know who I am?
Kimmy: I don’t know, but they’re booing you.
Cherie: I think we should go.
Victoria: I wanted to see this guy?
Cherie: The guy mocking my daughter on stage?
Victoria: Hh’s not mocking her!
Aimee: Yes, he’s calling me a horrible person complicit in crimes against humanity. That’s worse. SNL mocked Sean Connery, that didn’t mean they hated him. You call someone out on stage? You’re not a big fan.
Victoria: But nobody in this crowd knows who you are, we can stay and ride this out.
Ernesto: They wouldn’t, if you hadn’t loudly screamed out that she’s right here and that you’re her aunt.
Cherie: Aimee, just pull up the hood on your jacket and we’re running to the car. No one has to know it’s you.
Dave: This is the WORST!
Victoria: I don’t think I’m ever leaving the house again.
Three days later…
Lynette: How are we feeling?
Denise: It took her three hours to unlock her door after she got here.
Carolyn: I was very concerned when you called us to come in and visit her.
Aimee: I am miserable. I got heckled at the airport.
Carolyn: Haven’t we all been at one point or another?
Lynette: You all heckle me every day!
Aimee: Not like this.
Alec: I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve never been heckled at the airport.
Gwen: Well, you’re just not a star like us. You just got to the Senate, you’ll get that experience eventually.
Aimee: Dozens of teenagers just screaming at you is not really the most pleasant experience.
Gwen: Try dozens off theater nerds screaming at you because you announced your Broadway retirement at Sondheim’s birthday party and “made it all about you.”
Aimee: Mine’s a little worse.
Denise: She’s gotten death threats.
Carolyn: She’s not special.
Denise: Okay, you guys are not doing a good job of cheering her up.
Carolyn: Was that the goal?
Denise: Yes! Obviously yes!
Aimee: It’s fine, the TikTok kids will forget it soon enough, as will the Twitter racists, the Instagram moms, and the Facebook uncles.
Alec: This singer has quite the spanning fanbase.
Aimee: I do appear to be unfortunately feuding with the singer with the most passionate and annoying fanbase in the world.
Gwen: And there’s a lot of singers with insane fans, so that’s really saying something!
Aimee: This guy clearly doesn’t even know me! Or the Senate! We block almost everything the president does! I’m often along for the ride!
Carolyn: To a concerning level, really. You’re basically a Demo-
Aimee: Don’t even!
Alec: Maybe he wanted you to personally slap the president to really show you don’t support him.
Aimee: I voted to impeach the man! How much clearer can I be?
Gwen: I don’t know, but like you said, people will forget about this soon enough.
Denise: There are currently people protesting her outside the office saying she needs to resign.
Aimee: Hell no, I won’t go!
Carolyn: Can we call the cops on them?
Denise: I don’t think the Supreme Court would like that.
Carolyn: Who cares what they say?
Denise: I’m not going there.
Aimee: I wouldn’t mind this much if I’d done something wrong. This guy’s just clearly ill-informed. He just wanted a moment to grandstand.
Lynette: A celebrity? Grandstanding? Never!
Greg: Aimee, you have a minute?
Lynette: Greg! Hi!
Greg: Ugh.
Gwen: Typical reception one expects for Lynette.
Aimee: I’ve got a minute, yeah.
Greg: Aimee, this is not good.
Aimee: What ever do you mean?
Greg: The protesters outside. Someone tried to sneak into the building.
Aimee: That’s nothing new.
Greg: We need it cleaned up a little bit.
Aimee: How do I do that?
Greg: I don’t know.
Aimee: Glad to hear it.
Greg: Just get them away from the Senate!
Aimee: I’m an innocent woman!
Greg: I’m aware.
Denise: I have an idea.
Aimee: I’d love to hear it.
Denise: Let’s just go talk to them about it.
Aimee: I will be killed.
Greg: Honestly, worth the risk. Good idea, woman whose name I don’t know.
Lynette: I could’ve come up with the same idea if given the time!
Greg: Sure.
Aimee: Do I really need to go face those freaks?
Denise: We can explain all you’ve done to not be a rubber stamp on the president.
Aimee: What the hell, why not? I might get killed, not sure if that’s the best or worst case scenario.
Outside the Senate office building…
Aimee: Hey gang! I fully respect your right to protest, but I’d love to explain all the ways I have pushed back on this president and done what I can to keep him from overreaching his authority.
Man: Shut up, bitch!
Aimee: Well, I tried. They look angry, let’s get inside!
Denise: I’m already ahead of you!
What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
