ROBERT, LORENZO, ACE, BRYAN, HARRY, and MANNY are all in the Indianapolis Primitives’ bullpen.
ACE
I am so. TIRED!
ROBERT
You told us already!
MANNY
We all are.
BRYAN
I’m not. Ever since the kid was born I’ve been getting up at 8 am sharp.
MANNY
Shouldn’t you be getting up earlier than that?
ROBERT
Yeah, kids get up, like, super early.
BRYAN
My wife takes care of it.
MANNY
Well anyways, you all know why we’re here.
ACE
No, I really don’t.
MANNY
Look on the field.
ACE
None of us are on it and none of us should be anywhere near it.
MANNY
Okay, I know scheduling a baseball game on a Sunday morning doesn’t sound ideal, but.
After a pause:
ROBERT
But what?
MANNY
Yeah this is a terrible idea, why are we here?
ACE
At least the breakfast tacos are good.
LORENZO
Whoa!
ACE
The ones Harry made.
LORENZO
Oh. You see, I just played in the Indiana congressional baseball game so it brings back memories.
HARRY
You lost re-election, why were you even there?
LORENZO
I wanted to, I just showed up and nobody really questioned it. And while we’re on the subject I think I’ll help myself to a breakfast taco right now.
HARRY
You already had three.
LORENZO
So then what’s a fourth?
HARRY rolls his eyes.
BRYAN
Guys! Did you know you could watch this game on your phone, tablet, or streaming device?!?! Just pay the monthly subscription and download the app!
MANNY
That what you’re doing now?
BRYAN
What? No, I’m seeing what else they have. If I wanted to watch a baseball game I’d look at the field for free.
LORENZO
Ooh let me know, do they have Bake Your Heart Out?
HARRY
You humiliated yourself on that show.
LORENZO
Still a fan!
BRYAN
No, they don’t have Bake Your Heart Out.
LORENZO
How do you know? You barely looked!
BRYAN
I don’t want to watch Bake Your Heart Out.
LORENZO
But I do!
BRYAN
It’s my phone, I’m gonna find something I wanna watch…let’s see…oh, it crashed.
LORENZO
Now what am I gonna do? Harry can I get a cup of coffee please?
HARRY
I don’t have any coffee.
MANNY
No coffee?! That’s it. Come on everyone, let’s leave.
EVERYONE LEAVES.