Moira runs in to Marietta’s office.
Tammy: Gosh, you’re in a hurry. What brings you here?
Moira: I have to talk to Marietta.
Amy: I have never been in such a hurry to talk to Marietta.
Henrietta: She’s in a meeting right now, actually.
Tammy: I don’t think she’d mind you interrupting, though. It’s with the vice president.
Moira: Of the United States?
Tammy: Yeah, that vice president.
Moira: What could they possibly be talking about?
Amy: Well,I made a suggestion -
Moira: You suggested she speak with a woman she despises?
Amy: For the sake of New Orleans.
Moira: I can’t see how that could possibly be necessary.
Tammy: She’s trying to secure funding for infrastructure repair. Namely for updating the levees and flood walls ahead of the 2027 hurricane season.
Amy: You have to schmooze these people to get what you want. Politics is a dirty game.
Henrietta: Maybe let’s not talk so loudly about it when the VP is in the other room and can hear us.
Moira: Do you have any idea how long this meeting will be? I want to talk with her, but I don’t want to just linger around like a stalker.
Tammy: She tries her hardest to limit any and all interactions with -
Marietta: Well, that was a productive meeting! I really appreciate you coming in to chat with me. Our offices will stay in touch so we can work something out on this, okay?
Dede: I appreciate your increase display of emotional intelligence today. I really didn’t expect it from you, it’s a lovely surprise.
Tammy: So, what brings you back to New Orleans, anyway? Getting some use of the vacation house?
Dede: I’m campaigning for our wonderful senate candidate, Bethany Canadello. I know you’re familiar with her.
Marietta: Quite familiar! And quite confused as to how you guys couldn’t find a better candidate than her. My brother already wiped the floor with her, surely you could find someone better to run than her!
Dede: She’s had a very impressive turnaround since then. I know you’re aware that she flipped a very blue city council seat, and we think she’s really improved as a politician since then.
Marietta: This is a US Senate election, Dede, not Dancing with the Stars. You’ll need more than incremental improvements for a candidate to skate by. Though, I do admit that she may nevertheless stumble her way to victory, which will be a great embarrassment for this state. Ah well, you’d best be going. I have lots of work to do, and I assume you do, too.
Dede: I’m vice president. Of course I don’t.
Marietta: Nonetheless… farewell. Safe travels. Bienvenue.
Amy: “Bienvenue” means “welcome,” Marietta.
Marietta: Close enough!
Amy: Well… no.
Moira: Marietta! I wanted to talk!
Marietta: See, very busy. This is one of my real city councilors, not a wannabe political influencer trying to hog the spotlight.
Dede: Well, I don’t think she’s about to become a US Senator, is she?
Moira: But my husband is, and I’m so proud of him.
Dede: That’s swell.
Amy: God, the charisma oozing out of this woman… insane!
Tammy: Guys, let’s stop trying to provoke the VP.
Marietta: Yes, we had a wonderful and cordial meeting. Let’s leave it at that.
Dede: Were you not the one who started getting a tone with me?
Marietta: And I take it back! You are… wonderful. Now, Moira, let’s go chat.
In Marietta’s office…
Moira: Red alert!
Marietta: Don’t say that so close to the midterms. You know that party scares me.
Moira: This is about the midterms. Specifically, about our state.
Marietta: Okay.
Moira: Milton just called me and told me that the DSCC polling as Eileen Birkman taking the lead over Bethany. We can win this race and flip Louisiana blue.
Marietta: I’d love to see that, but I have my doubts. They’re actually investing in the state this time, unlike the Milton race. And we’re a very red state.
Moira: If Milton can win, why can’t Eileen? She’s a popular two-term governor! Believe with me!
Marietta: I believe, but I won’t get my hopes up.
Moira: Milton wants us to campaign for her. He’s setting up a unity rally with her for Tuesday with the governor.
Marietta: Tuesday? Who is going to a political rally on a Tuesday?
Moira: It’s one week out from the election.
Marietta: I’m aware. I just don’t think… never mind. I’ll be there! And I’ll knock doors for her, I’ll do whatever she needs.
Moira: Milton also wants you to record an ad attacking Bethany.
Marietta: All-in on that. 100% ready to do so. I can write my own script, I can read off a script they give me, whatever is needed. I want the bitch to lose.
Moira: Well, let’s not say that in the ad.
Marietta: Of course not! I keep it classy.
Moira: Sure you do!
Marietta: What are you implying?
Moira: You have a foul mouth sometimes. It’s okay! It’s fun! Let’s just keep it out of the campaign.
Marietta: I keep my spicy side out of my campaigns.
Moira: Remember the keg stand?
Marietta: Don’t even bring that up! That is a sore subject!
Moira: You persevered! You made it through!
Marietta: I think it made Tammy and I even closer! I wanted to ring Amy’s neck for attacking me for it, though. Especially when I found out she drinks a lot more than I ever do!
Moira: Are you implying Amy is an alcoholic?
Marietta: No! I’m implying she drinks a few times a week, and I rarely do. God, if I drank after work, I’d fall asleep on the couch within ten minutes of getting home. These ladies exhaust me. Not Henrietta so much. But those other two…
Later that night…
Patty Lynn: I’m so glad you came here for dinner tonight. You need a good, quality meal.
Marietta: I eat quality meals.
Kathleen: You just insulted her cooking, Pat.
Patty Lynn: She doesn’t cook!
Marietta: I’m the mayor, restaurants are practically begging me to stop in and get free food.
Patty Lynn: Really?
Marietta: Sometimes! Usually I gotta pay, though. Which is fine! I’m happy to support small businesses.
Patty Lynn: Well, I’m glad to cook for you for free. It’s a gift just to see you.
Marietta: You mean it?
Patty Lynn: Of course!
Kathleen: It’s a gift for me, too. Any time you’re here, she leaves me alone for a while.
Patty Lynn: That’s mean!
Kathleen: It’s true.
Marietta: So, I have news.
Patty Lynn: Fire away, darlin’.
Marietta: We might win the Louisiana Senate race.
Patty Lynn: Darn right we might!
Marietta: No, I mean the numbers are actually showing we can win, not just your fantasies.
Patty Lynn: I believe in this state -
Marietta: Mom, listen! Eileen is leading in the latest polling. We can flip Louisiana and keep Bethany out of the Senate.
Kathleen: That would be incredible. That’s the dumbest woman alive.
Marietta: No, that’s the senator from South Carolina. Beth’s a close runner-up, though! So, anyway, we’re doing a rally with Eileen next Tuesday for Democratic unity.
Kathleen: Tuesday?
Marietta: I know. I said the same thing.
Patty Lynn: I’ll be there! Where is there, by the way?
Marietta: Baton Rouge?
Patty Lynn: Well, they don’t have the natural charm of New Orleans, but that still works for me.
Marietta: You do realize you won’t be speaking, right? I just thought you’d want to go.
Patty Lynn: I realize that completely! I’m not some hotshot like you and Milton and the governor.
Kathleen: Correct.
Marietta: When is the last time this state had two Democrat senators? I can’t even remember, and I was one of our two senators for two decades!
Patty Lynn: It’s been too long!
Kathleen: You do know you should’ve run, right? You’d be winning this.
Marietta: I’m perfectly content staying on the sidelines and cheering Eileen on. She’s a great candidate, and a great person.
Kathleen: So cordial! It’s adorable. I hate it. Tell me how you really feel!
Marietta: I was very conflicted about whether to run or not. I belong in New Orleans. This is home, it always will be. I have no need to seek office in DC again.
Patty Lynn: And, even though I would support you in anything you do, never forget that! We’re home!
One week later…
Marietta: My god, Milton. The turnout is insane!
Milton: I told you we could win!
Marietta: This turnout is unbelievable. People are really fired up.
Milton: All the shenanigans in DC… people want change.
Amy: Are sixty seats for the Democrats not enough?
Milton: People want to punish the president.
Amy: Well, just say that, then.
Tammy: Someone’s cranky today.
Amy: Look, I’m trying to temper expectations. I don’t want to go believing in a blue Louisiana, just to get slapped in the face with the harsh reality of my state electing a halfwit beauty queen as our senator.
Milton: She was a news reporter, actually.
Amy: How? I’m taken aback every time someone points it out. How?
Tammy: When you’re that pretty, they’re willing to cut you some slack.
Eileen: I know I’m pretty, but don’t reduce me just to my looks!
Marietta: Eileen, it’s been so long!
Eileen: Well, I’ve been off working, and so have you. I told Milton, but I am so sorry about your father. He was one of my heroes.
Marietta: He’d be so proud to see this today. This is a grassroots movement, in the name of bettering our state.
Eileen: I’m so appreciative of your support, and your time. This has been such a tall task to take on, but I’m so happy to have the support of titans like yourself.
Patty Lynn: You’re welcome!
Milton: Mom, I think she meant -
Marietta: No, she meant mom, too! Mom is certainly a titan.
Kathleen: Yes, she annoys me to a titanic degree.
Patty Lynn: You’d go crazy without me!
Kathleen: I go crazy with you!
Eileen: They’re just so adorable.
Milton: No, they are not.
Henrietta: I’m sorry, governor Birkman, I don’t know where my mom is. She hasn’t responded to my texts in the last half-hour. I guess she’s on the way, but she’s not usually this late.
Eileen: It’s fine! I’m just glad she’s coming out at all. Not many people believed in this campaign until very recently. She’s always been cheering me on.
Milton: Not like me!
Eileen: Of course not, Milton. You are very special to me, you know that.
Milton: Thank you.
One week later…
Marietta: What a night!
Patty Lynn: It’s 7:30.
Marietta: And we’re on the way to flipping South Carolina, Texas, and Maine!
Milton: None of them have been called, let’s not get cocky.
Marietta: I’m a believer.
Tammy: Since when?
Marietta: My whole life!
Amy: When do we get results from Louisiana?
Marietta: Soon after the polls close…
Amy: Which is?
Marietta: You don’t know?
Amy: I vote in the morning, like a decent person. I’m not waiting until eight!
Marietta: Well, that’s when polls close.
Amy: Good to know!
One hour later…
Patty Lynn: Why is Kansas blue? How did that happen?
Kathleen: Forget Kansas, look at Mississippi!
Marietta: Louisiana is red…
Milton: No votes in from New Orleans yet. Don’t worry, have faith.
Marietta: I’m trying my hardest. I’ve just been disappointed so many times in the past.
Tammy: Ah, look, they just called South Carolina!
Marietta: A thing of absolute beauty.
Tammy: Look, they’re talking about Louisiana!
Marietta: Oh my god, Bethany’s only up fifteen in St. Tammany? It’s over, we’re gonna win.
Milton: See! Positivity works!
Patty Lynn: I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch! I’ll believe it when I see it called!
Two hours later…
Dan Freberg: And we have a call in that contentious Louisiana Senate race that hats dramatically tightened in the last few weeks. Former governor Eileen Birkman has pulled off what is widely considered an upset, denying New Orleans city councilor Bethany Canadello the chance to head to DC for the second time in two years.
Marietta: We did it!
Milton: We?
Marietta: We all know it was my ad that sealed the deal.
What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
