Garry and Carly are in their hotel room packing.
Garry: You sure we can’t go hit up Bourbon Street one last time?
Carly: Babe, since when are you begging me to go out and party at the bars?
Garry: I’ve had so much fun this week! I think this might be my city.
Carly: Garry, you could never handle this city. I don’t mean that in a nasty way, you’re just… straight-laced.
Garry: I am not!
Carly: It’s not a bad thing. I love it about you. But you’re not a partier. You’re a family guy.
Garry: I’m sure this is a great city to raise a family! Plenty of people have done it!
Carly: That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you’ve enjoyed the partying this week, but you’d get sick of it quickly. You can’t raise a family and go out partying at the bars until 2 AM every night like you do on vacation.
Garry: I wasn’t suggesting we move here. I just think maybe we should vacation here more often.
Carly: As long as we’re throwing out our grand ideas, I have one.
Garry: Let’s hear it! I love hearing your ideas, you have such a brilliant mind.
Carly: You’re laying it on pretty thick now.
Garry: I’m just being respectful to my wife.
Carly: I think there’s still a small part of your brain telling you that I’ll change my mind on hitting up the bars on Bourbon Street if you pay me enough lip service.
Garry: I would never try to play mind games with you! That’s your thing!
Carly: It is, and I respect that you recognize that, but I need you to give your honest opinion here, okay? I don’t want to do this if it’s a bad idea, but I don’t think it is.
Garry: Let’s hear it. I’ll be completely honest.
Carly: I want to be a singer. A country singer.
Garry: Excuse me?
Carly: We’re on our way to Nashville, we’ve just spent two straight weeks in the south. It’s reignited my childhood dream
Garry: You don’t sing, honey. I’m the singer in the family.
Carly: Only when you’re drunk out of your mind. I’ve heard you sing more in the last week than in the rest of our marriage combined. It’s like I’m living with a member of Fleetwood Mac.
Garry: That still counts!
Carly: So you don’t think I should pursue my dream?
Garry: I’m just confused on when it became your dream. You’ve never mentioned it.
Carly: As a little girl!
Garry: And you never mentioned it in all these years? You don’t even listen to country music!
Carly: Well, I know you’re not a fan of it.
Garry: That doesn’t stop you from making me go see your mother.
Carly: That’s a little bit different.
Garry: So what’s your plan for country music stardom?
Carly: I don’t want to sound like a gold digger, but I am married to a celebrity who has significant sway.
Garry: You think I have sway? In Nashville?
Carly: You’re on the biggest hit show on TV! Everyone’s going to want to work with you and do you a favor.
Garry: My phone doesn’t exactly ring in the offseason.
Carly: Garry, I’m just asking for your help to make my dreams come true! Can you not do that? For me, your beloved wife?
Garry: I’ll see what I can do. I’ll ask the gang and see if any of them have connections. You know, Charlotte’s got an Oscar.
Carly: I don’t want them to think I’m some sort of charity case. I want to get a recording contract off my own merit.
Garry: That feels like a conflicting message from what you just said to me about using my connections and celebrity status.
Carly: Stop attacking me, Garry.
Garry: I’m gonna figure it out. I’m gonna make your dream come true.
The next day…
Carly: I’m gonna run to the bathroom quickly, don’t leave without me.
Sam: It’s not you we’d leave without. It’s Garry.
Carly: I’d rather if we didn’t leave without him, too.
Sam: You can’t always get what you want.
Garry: All right, now that she’s gone, I gotta talk to you guys.
Sam: Oh, no thank you.
Garry: Sam, I don’t have time to screw around. I need advice.
Frances: Then go! Go, go, go -
Sam: Do you think I have time to go get a beignet? I’m hungry.
Leslie: Shut up!
Melanie: Garry, go.
Sam: Are you serious? You all want to hear Garry’s problems?
Diane: Enough.
Garry: This is so bizarre… but we’re going to Nashville now, and last night, Carly tells me that she wants to be a country singer now. I had no clue she ever wanted that. I’m just perplexed. And I don’t know how I can make that dream come true, but I want to. I want to make all her dreams come true.
Sam: Divorce her, then.
Garry: Trust me, Sam, I’m not the one in the most miserable marriage here.
Sam: You don’t have to attack Diane like that!
Diane: I don’t think he was, actually. I’m not married anymore!
Nicolle: That was a good one, Garry!
Sam: Excuse me?
Nicolle: Come on, you’re always ribbing him, let him get you back. He needs it, we don’t want to demoralize him.
Leslie: So what was this about Carly wanting to be a country singer? I can’t focus amid Sam’s nonsense.
Nicolle: As a girl, she wanted to be a country singer. She never told me this, because I don’t care for country music, but this trip to Nashville has her pining for that dream again. I want to help make it reality, but I don’t know how.
Leslie: I think I could be of assistance.
Frances: Are you about to reveal your uncle was George Jones or something? I feel like we don’t know anything about your family history. You’re a mysterious woman.
Leslie: I do not have any famous family. I do, however, have Paul’s phone number. And he has connections!
Garry: She doesn’t want anyone else’s help.
Sam: Well, she’s screwed then. I don’t want to be mean -
Charlotte: Yes, you do.
Sam: She’s a forty-some year-old woman with zero performing experience. The entertainment industry is not an equal-opportunity employer.
Garry: She has the talent. Maybe.
Diane: That is a good question. Can she sing? Does she need some lessons to tune her instrument?
Sam: Probably, there’s no way Garry’s tuning it for her.
Charlotte: Good heavens.
Melanie: I think it’s inspiring to see Carly chasing her dreams like this. What better city to try than Music City, USA?
Leslie: Garry, I really think you should let me reach out to Paul about this. Let him call his friends in the industry, put out feelers to see who might be interested in giving her a chance. I don’t want to disrespect either of you, but you’re not going to do it yourselves.
Charlotte: I have connections! I once appeared in a movie with LeAnn Rimes!
Sam: Oh, I’m sure that was great.
Diane: Are you implying that 9-1-1: Nashville star LeAnn Rimes is not a superior talent?
Sam: I’m sure she’s a nice lady. Actress, I’m not so sure.
Frances: It is hard to hold your own against an Oscar winner.
Garry: All right, Leslie, give Paul a call. But don’t tell Carly. I’ll have to pass this off as something I arranged.
Leslie: It’ll be our secret!
Later that day…
Leslie: Paul!
Paul: Leslie, my god, it’s been an unusually long time since I’ve heard from you. Everything must be going smoothly there?
Leslie: I take it you didn’t see the clips from New Orleans.
Paul: What clips?
Leslie: Ah, just some people having a bit of fun. Nothing to worry about, we actually figured it might help promote the show. TikTok’s loving it.
Paul: That frightens me, but I won’t dwell on it. So, what’s Jacqueline up to? That’s usually your reason for calling.
Leslie: We actually don’t have any issues with her right now. She’s calmed down on this trip, I think she’s slowly accepting that she’s doomed to spend the rest of her career as an underling.
Paul: Ah, I love to hear that.
Leslie: I’m calling for a favor.
Paul: I told you, I have no mob connections. I can’t make Jacqueline disappear.
Leslie: No, not that. And that was a joke, NSA! A funny, funny joke! Haha!
Paul: All right, what do you have in mind?
Leslie: This is hard to explain… do you have any connections in the music industry? Say… in Nashville?
Paul: I have connections everywhere, you know that.
Leslie: But you just said -
Paul: Besides the mob. Why are you asking, though? Sam and Diane get the grand idea to record a single?
Leslie: Garry’s wife wants to be a country singer.
Paul: You’re bugging me about the wife of one of your on-air talents? Leslie, come on.
Leslie: It’s important! She’s a very needy woman, we don’t need her whining the whole week. What if she sees Reba on the street? You want her attacking Reba in a jealous rage?
Paul: Why would she do that?
Leslie: Because Reba succeeded against the odds, so why couldn’t she? A single mom who works two jobs, who loves her k-
Paul: I don’t need you to sing me the theme song, I helped develop the show.
Leslie: You did?
Paul: I spent a very short time working at The WB, it’s one of my great shames in life.
Leslie: Anyway, you have any ideas here? You don’t even have to get her in contact with a record executive or anything, just help me find somewhere she can perform and headline her own show.
Paul: Well… one of my close friends manages the Grand Old Opry.
Leslie: I’d say that’ll do.
Paul: It will be up to his discretion on whether to let her perform. She’s a complete unknown-
Leslie: Like Bob Dylan!
Paul: - with absolutely zero experience. She has no songs, I don’t even know for sure if she can actually sing or if she’s just as deluded as a Real Housewife. But I will ask.
Leslie: That’s all I need! I want to tell Garry we tried, she he can tell Carly that he tried.
Paul: The relationship you all have with each other astounds me, but I suppose it does work for you, so keep up the good work.
The next day…
Leslie: I have good news, Garry.
Sam: My stomach hurts. One of those contestants gave me food poisoning, but I’m not sure who. Or maybe it was that diner we ate at this morning.
Diane: No one gave you food poisoning. You’re delusional.
Sam: My stomach isn’t!
Diane: The rest of us feel fine!
Leslie: Everyone, shut up!
Diane: Sorry, Leslie.
Leslie: Garry, Paul’s friend manages the Grand Ole Opry.
Garry: This sounds promising.
Leslie: They’re apparently much closer than I expected, because his friend has agreed to give Carly a half-hour performing slot at the Opry on Friday. It’s not their famous Saturday show, but it’s still a big opportunity.
Garry: That’s incredible! I don’t know if I can convince her that I was able to make that happen, though.
Charlotte: Garry, she thinks you hung the moon. She’ll believe anything you tell her.
Sam: For some reason…
Garry: I’m excited for her. A little nervous, I still haven’t heard her sing -
Sam: Excuse me?
Charlotte: I think that’s okay. Surely Carly wouldn’t accept this opportunity or pursue this dream if she had no talent.
Sam: I don’t think we’re the best judges of our own talent.
Diane: For example, Sam thinks she’s a nice person.
Sam: No, I’ve never said that.
Later that night…
Garry: Babe! I have something to tell you!
Carly: I’m so glad you’re home! I’ve been practicing all day! Would you like me to sing something for you?
Garry: Of course! But I have something to tell you first.
Carly: This is exciting!
Garry: You are going to perform this Friday at the Grand Ole Opry.
Carly: Are you serious? You’re joking!
Garry: Not joking.
Carly: I could cry! Oh my god!
Garry: Your dream is coming true!
Carly: I could kiss you.
Garry: You’re free to do that. We are married, after all.
Friday night…
Charlotte: Wow, Carly! That outfit, it’s very…
Diane: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader?
Charlotte: I don’t know what that is. I was going to say hillbilly.
Frances: I think you look wonderful.
Carly: Thank you! I think I look authentically country.
Sam: Aren’t you from Maryland?
Carly: We’re country!
Sam: Eh…
Jacqueline: Isn’t it so wonderful that Paul could arrange all of this for us?
Carly: Excuse me?
Frances: Oh, you bitch.
Carly: Garry arranged this.
Jacqueline: No, Leslie called Paul and he got you in because he’s friends with the manager. I overheard the entire plan at the airport.
Garry: Why are you doing this?
Nicolle: I think I’m gonna go find my seat.
Melanie: Me too!
Sam: I’m staying to watch this.
Carly: I’m not here because of my talent -
Sam: I mean, none of us have ever heard you sing, so it’s not that surprising.
Carly: I’m here because Paul meddled. And Garry, you let me think this was all you! You said you played them my demo tape!
Frances: You have a demo tape?
Carly: Yes! A fantastic one!
Garry: Honey, I just wanted your dream to come true. I know you wanted it to happen naturally, but I just wanted to ensure it happened at all.
Leslie: Jacqueline, you knew what you were doing. Just go.
Garry: I knew I couldn’t trust her.
Sam: We all knew that, bozo.
Garry: Carly, please just do your show. You can be mad at me, but I don’t want this to discourage you from taking this opportunity.
Carly: No, I know. And I don’t want to be mad at you. I’m just annoyed with myself for being silly and not realizing that I didn’t get here all on my own.
Sam: Yeah, that was pretty silly. You went from never singing in public to the Grand Ole Opry in five days.
Diane: Sam!
Sam: Inappropriate, I know.
Leslie: Carly, it’s time.
Garry: Just go kill it. I’m proud of you.
Carly: I’m lucky to have you.
Sam: I don’t know about that.
Carly: No, I am.
What did you think of this week's episode of Bake Your Heart Out? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
