Claude is conducting his weekly audience with prime minister Raydon.
Claude: So, how are you doing? Everything going well?
Andrea: Uh… yeah. I’d say so.
Claude: Lovely to hear.
Andrea: And yourself?
Claude: Doing well, bouncing back from the ankle injury.
Andrea: Glad to hear that. The nation was quite worried for you, your majesty. All of us in parliament sent you our best, as you know.
Claude: I felt the support from all of you, it was truly lovely and touching.
Andrea: You like the word “lovely” a lot.
Claude: It’s a very versatile word.
Andrea: It is indeed.
Claude: Have you got any plans for the weekend?
Andrea: Well, it’s Wednesday, so I haven’t thought that far ahead. I’ll probably head back to Manchester, tend to my garden, maybe go for a hike.
Claude: A hike? I didn’t realize you hiked!
Andrea: I think this is the first time you’ve ever actually asked me about my personal life in any way.
Claude: No! I know about your son, um… Dave…?
Andrea: Daniel.
Claude: He’s graduating high school.
Andrea: He’s engaged to be married!
Claude: That’s close!
Andrea: Your majesty, it’s fine. I know you’re a very busy man, I don’t expect you to know every personal detail about my life. Heck, you’ve seen so many PMs, I don’t even think I’d remember my name if I were you. Though, I do intend to outlast the last several.
Claude: You’ve already outlasted Brackerton!
Andrea: A head of lettuce could outlast Brackerton. Not an accomplishment! But alas, I should let you get about your day. It would be rude to keep you for much longer.
Claude: It’s no bother, I don’t have anything scheduled for another hour.
Andrea: You’re being too polite. I appreciated your advice on the transport bill, I will surely take it into consideration.
Claude: I guess I’ll see you out, then. See you next week!
Andrea: Actually, I’ll be in Mexico next week, meeting with their president.
Claude: Oh, I forgot!
Andrea: That’s fine, I almost forgot myself. I can’t say I’m terribly excited to go, I don’t like planes very much. I get very anxious on them.
Claude: It seems as if this is not an ideal job for someone who dislikes flying.
Andrea: I’m willing to put my fears aside for the sake of the country. That being said, pills certainly help get me through it.
Claude: Pills? Like Tylenol!
Andrea: Tylenol? No, Ativan!
Claude: Is that an illegal substance? I think I’d have to report you to the proper authorities if so. None of us can be above the law.
Andrea: It’s a prescription medication for anxiety.
Claude: Oh! I’ve never struggled with anxiety, never been allowed to. Mum always told me to just keep my head up and not worry about the demons inside.
Andrea: I always find it so fascinating to see how the other half lives.
Claude: You’re PM, aren’t you “the other half” at this point?
Andrea: If only my bank account agreed with that statement!
A bit later, after the prime minister leaves…
Christine: How was your meeting, dear?
Claude: I don’t think we “get” each other.
Christine: Are you asking for a divorce in front of your mum and cousin, our son, and the staff?
Claire: And me!
Claude: No! You just asked me how the meeting went, I was obviously referring to the prime minister! Very obviously!
Christine: Oh. So you’re not getting along?
Claude: It’s not that. We’re cordial, we’re polite, it’s just obvious that we come from different walks of life.
Arthur: In fairness, papa, almost everyone comes from a different walk of life than we do.
Claire: Yeah, surely she’s no worse than Meredith or Brackerton.
Claude: I enjoy her company much more than theirs, but they were properly, uh… I guess, posh? Private schooling, went to top universities, et cetera. It was just that their personalities and ideas for the nation were rancid.
Christine: I’m still not sensing the issue.
Claude: I struggle to relate to Raydon. She’s down-to-earth, a woman of the people… a total commoner. Does that make me sound like an elitist?
Claire: Very much so.
Claude: Again, she is lovely. We just come from different worlds. She was talking to me about antidepressants today!
Christine: Is that a typical occurrence? Should we be worried?
Claude: She takes it for anxiety, apparently. I don’t know. I’ve never had those sort of issues.
Arthur: I think you could use some sort of anxiety medication sometimes.
Claude: What does that mean?
Arthur: You’re a… nothing.
Eleanor: Claude, I understand you completely. I worked with so many prime ministers over the years, and I tried my hardest to connect with them all. Sometimes, it was a struggle. I don’t know how you didn’t lose your mind dealing with Trayman for those years. I’m sure that, in time, you’ll develop a rapport with prime minister Raydon. These things can take time.
Claude: I just feel bad. She’s kind, she clearly is devoted to the country, and yet, there’s an awkwardness. She’s just a bit of a free spirit, and that’s something I’ve never been.
Arthur: You know who has always been a free spirit?
Christine: Me, I know.
Arthur: No, not in the slightest.
Christine: What do you m- I choose not to take offense to that.
Arthur: Aunt Olivia.
Claude: And I struggle to get on with her, too. Your point?
Arthur: You should ask her for advice on building a friendship with her. They’re quite similar!
Claude: I don’t need to ask my sister to help me make friends. That just makes me look pathetic.
Arthur: Governing is all about making connections. The head of state and the head of government ought to have a good working relationship. This is in the interest of the people, it’s not pathetic!
Claude: So shall I ask her to accompany us on a date? I don’t know what the goal here is.
Arthur: Have Olivia invite the prime minister to her farm.
Claude: Didn’t she sell that?
Eleanor: Lord, you really don’t know much about your sister.
Claude: It’s hard to get to know much about her when she’s busy berating me all the time!
Eleanor: You are like a child sometimes. No wonder you struggle to make friends.
Claude: Mum! You said you understood my plight!
Eleanor: Dear, I said I understood the issue. I didn’t say you had an excuse to be a baby about it.
The next weekend…
Andrea: Your royal highness, it is so great to be here in the countryside. Ah, I miss it so!
Olivia: Aren’t you from Manchester? That’s not the country!
Andrea: Stockport, to be exact. And we have plenty of countryside and rural areas. It’s a beautiful part of the country. I’m so much more at home in the country than somewhere like London. It’s so posh, it’s so stuck up. I’m a farm girl. Born in Stockport, raised on a farm in Wigan, moved back to Stockport after I got married. I like to play in the dirt, I like to be messy. This farm right here is the place for me.
Olivia: My goodness, I feel the same. I was forced to keep a primary residence London by my family, because I’m “needed” there, but this is home. This is where I feel free.
Fred: Indeed, it is. It’s the only place she’s far enough from her family to feel secure talking smack about them.
Olivia: Ah, don’t give the prime minister a false impression of me. I love my family, I don’t talk bad about them too often. Just typical family disagreements.
Andrea: Let me ask… how’d they force you to leave paradise? You’re a grown woman! It’s your life!
Olivia: I wasn’t about to refuse the orders of the King. He’d be incredibly annoying about it!
Andrea: He’s always been polite to me, but I don’t get the sense he’s fond of me. I think I’m a bit too brash and free-spirited to fit in with him.
Olivia: Trust me, you’re an improvement over what we’ve had. He’s quite grateful he gets to talk with you rather than Trayman. You may not speak so eloquently, but at least you’ve got a brain.
Andrea: Did he ask you to ask me here? This was quite out of the blue, as much as I do appreciate it.
Olivia: Yeah, he did.
Andrea: I suppose he is making an effort. He even tried asking me some personal questions at our most recent audience. He knows my eldest son’s name now! Only two more to teach him about!
Olivia: Do you like horseback riding?
Andrea: That’s an abrupt change of subject.
Olivia: I’m not trying to district you from discussing my brother’s cold and unfriendly nature. I’m just trying to show you around the property. Only the most esteemed guests get to ride my horses.
Fred: She doesn’t even let me ride them.
Olivia: It’s true. He accidentally kicked one of my horses once and he’s been banished from the bar ever since.
Fred: It’s not what you’re thinking. I was climbing into a window because -
Olivia: She doesn’t need to hear this.
Andrea: I’d like to, though.
Olivia: I’ve heard it so many times. I still hold it against him all these years later.
Later that day…
Andrea: So anyway, I get married at twenty. Rushed into it because I was pregnant, and I’d dropped out of university over it, so I wanted to secure my future somehow. Now, I support abortion, but it was not an option for me. And I’m glad, because my Daniel is such a special boy. My husband and I tired to make it work, but were not a match. Got a divorce, which was very much for the best. Eventually, I found the one! And we had two more beautiful children together. So those are the basics. How long do you think it’d take the King to remember all that?
Olivia: He’s very old. He’s forgetful.
Andrea: I know my background isn’t what you’d expect from a PM. I never expected to become a PM, to be honest. Not even in my wildest dreams! Heck, I didn’t expect to become an MP, either.
Olivia: I haven’t had a perfect record myself. We all have messy pasts, even the people who claim to hold perfect lives, like my family. All I’ve seen today has been a woman who loves her country, who knows how to have fun, and who wants the best for us all. I think you have more in common with my brother than he thinks. Those of us from different walks of life are not nearly as different as people make us out to be.
Andrea: So you don’t think I’m the classless buffoon the media likes to make me out to be?
Olivia: The media loves to blast anyone who isn’t completely polished and boring. Anyone that shows a hint of personality must be bashed for said personality. And perhaps my brother’s judged you from what he’s seen on TV rather than in person.
Andrea: So I’m getting a passing mark from you?
Olivia: As if he trusts my opinion. I think this was just to get advice on how to connect with you better. I find you quite easy to get along with. Maybe we should’ve invited him along!
Andrea: There’s always next weekend!
Olivia: I don’t know if I want his kind here.
A few days later…
Todd: Mum, I heard you were at the country house this weekend! Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve loved to bring Liliana.
Gigi: She’s a baby, I don’t think she knows the difference.
Todd: I still want her to get familiar with the place! I spent much of my childhood there, I intend to have her spend plenty of time there herself.
Olivia: I was there on official business.
Gigi: You were at the farm on official business? What, have you been chosen as uncle Claude’s special envoy for mules?
Olivia: First, I don’t own any mules. Donkeys, yes. Horses, of course. No mules. Second, I -
Meredith: Have you been cheating on me?
Olivia: Excuse me?
Meredith: I heard you had another prime minister to your house this weekend! This is a betrayal.
Olivia: Oh, god.
Meredith: I know it hurts to be called out, but I think it’s important that I do. It will help us move forward.
Olivia: The King asked me to host the Prime Minister at my place for diplomatic purposes, and I obliged. End of story. Also, Meredith, you are neither prime minister nor my friend.
Meredith: Excuse me?
Olivia: Neither of those things can possibly be a surprise to you.
Meredith: You've always been such a jokester!
Olivia: Christ.
What did you think of this week's episode of The Princess Royal? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
