STATION MARKET HH RATINGS (+/- LAST WEEK)
RSN Los Angeles: 7.0 (-0.6)
RSN Indianapolis: 6.4 (-0.5)
RSN Santa Fe: 0.8 (-0.1)
RSN Bridgeport: 0.3 (-0.1)
RSN Anchorage: 0.1 (-0.1)
SETTING: RSN’s corporate office. BENNY comes rushing over to KYLIE, NICOLE, TREVOR, BLAKE, and AUSTIN, who are all minding their own business.
BENNY
Alright guys, which one of you snitched?
Everyone looks around at each other.
NICOLE
Benny, what are you talking about?
BENNY
What am I talking about? Ernie’s on his way! The board sent him here!
SASHA INTERVIEW
Earnest — or Ernie, as Benny calls him — is RSN’s CEO. He’s 85 years old and has never come across a corporate team he’s liked. What he doesn’t understand is there are very, very few people willing to work at an RSN these days. So if he tries to fire us…well, I wish him luck.
NICOLE
Nobody snitched, Benny. The cameras got everything. Remember?
BENNY
Oh. Right.
NICOLE
If I were you I would suggest taking the angle of —
BENNY
Of what?
NICOLE
I thought I’d think of something.
BENNY
What about the ratings, maybe I could just convince them the ratings are good?
KYLIE
LA and Indy took a big tumble this week, and those are the only two stations we have going for us.
BENNY
What about RSN+?
TREVOR
That’s far away from being launched and honestly? Probably too expensive on our current budget.
BENNY
Well I could always just try to convince him that as bad as I am, the alternative would be worse!
BLAKE
That’s probably the only argument you have left.
BENNY
So help me out guys, how do I pull that off?
They hear the door open and turn to see EARNEST walking in.
BENNY
Ernie!!! Long time no see, old pal!
EARNEST
Yeah, because I fired you.
BENNY chuckles nervously.
BENNY
So what brings you in?
EARNEST
I saw the footage. It wasn’t pretty. Ratings for most of the stations are in the toilet and your solutions are…a sixth affiliate? A streaming service? Come on.
BENNY
Actually streaming services have helped many of our competitors.
EARNEST
And the two stations that *are* working…the girls hate each other!
KYLIE
That is true.
NICOLE
Yeah, can’t argue with that.
EARNEST
And clearly the one girl is blind to the fact LA doesn’t even want to be part of RSN anymore. We can’t lose LA. It would be detrimental to the company.
KYLIE
Sir, LA isn’t going anywhere, I have this under control.
EARNEST notices BLAKE start to walk away.
EARNEST
And where do you think you’re going?
BLAKE
Oh, I was just gonna give the camera crew a little interview.
EARNEST
I’m right here. There’s no use.
BLAKE stays.
EARNEST
Now based on my history, I’m sure you all have reason to assume I’m here to fire you all.
AUSTIN
That was my presumption.
EARNEST
Well I’m not.
Everyone looks confused.
EARNEST
I’m here to restructure.
BENNY
Restructure? Ernie! I have everything under control.
EARNEST
You’ll still be boss. But this whole station liaison thing? Not working. It’s too divisive. And if you have the wrong person in charge of a station, it could take the whole company down.
EARNEST looks at KYLIE.
KYLIE
LA’s our highest-rated station, I’m doing something right.
EARNEST
You all need to learn to get along before it tanks RSN.
EARNEST turns around and walks out the door.
AUSTIN
So…are we really gonna follow what he said?
SASHA
Don’t we have to? He’s watching all the footage.
AUSTIN
I guess so.
BENNY INTERVIEW
Ernie came by the office and didn’t fire anyone. If that’s not a sign of my strong leadership, I don’t know what is. Oh and Ernie, if you’re watching this — you’re my best friend and I couldn’t imagine this company without you.