HOWARD BROOKS, the Vice President-elect of the United States, is in a car with BOBBY TILBOURNE, the President-elect of the United States. They are on their way to a post-election rally.
HOWARD
Bobby, just to make it clear, I am so excited to be your Vice President.
BOBBY
I know. You’ve told me many times.
HOWARD
Yeah one thing though. Why are we campaigning here? We’ve already won the election.
BOBBY
Where would you rather be, the beaches in Florida? They love me here, it’s a victory lap.
HOWARD
Yes, actually.
BOBBY
I see this kind of as a way to tour the country. See what it looks like for myself instead of going on the internet and using the birds’ eye view.
HOWARD
You do that?
BOBBY
Who doesn’t?
HOWARD
Most people.
BOBBY
Boy, you’re challenging me more than my opponent was!
HOWARD
Not my intention.
HOWARD and BOBBY arrive at the venue.
BOBBY
Alright, you know the drill. We’re gonna walk over to the arena and get our crowd excited.
BOBBY and HOARD walk into the arena. Their supporters roar.
BOBBY
Thank you! Thank you everybody! As you know, we have actually won the election. My Vice President, Howard Brooks, will now say a word.
HOWARD replaces BOBBY at the podium and speaks for 20 minutes, getting the crowd excited by going through their agenda and citing the highlights of the campaign. When he is done, HOWARD and BOBBY wave and walk out.
HOWARD
That was a quick speech you gave.
BOBBY
Yeah, but I think I got my point across.
HOWARD
You know, your speeches have been getting shorter and shorter. People are going to think you’re lazy.
BOBBY
I’m not lazy.
HOWARD
You need to prove that to the citizens. Remember, there are already a lot of people who aren’t happy we won.
BOBBY
Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to imply but we’re doing just fine.
HOWARD
Okay. Want to get something to eat?
BOBBY
No, I think I’m gonna go back to my room. I’m feeling a little tired.
HOWARD
It’s 10am and you slept for a solid 10 hours last night.
BOBBY
I wouldn’t say I slept that whole time.
HOWARD
Stresses of being President-elect keeping you up again?
BOBBY
Uh...sure. Yeah, that’s it.
HOWARD
We have another event at 3pm, don’t forget about that. I still don’t know why we’re doing two events in this state in one day, but I’m not the decision-maker.
BOBBY
You might be soon.
HOWARD
Huh?
BOBBY
What?
HOWARD
You said I might be the decision-maker soon. If you come across as lazy, citizens will have some doubts.
BOBBY
I told you, I’m not lazy! Now stop pressing me.
HOWARD
Sometimes I wonder why you even chose me as your running mate.
BOBBY
Because I think you’ll be a good President.
HOWARD
Come on Bobby, don’t talk like that. Being older than me doesn’t mean much, given I haven’t cracked 40 yet. Did the party leaders put you up to this?
BOBBY
Let’s just say I get the feeling they like you.
HOWARD
I’m the future Vice President. I’m honored to take on this role, though I think you’re overestimating the power I will have.
BOBBY
No, I don’t think I am.
HOWARD
Don’t even tell me you plan on phoning it in through the entire term.
BOBBY
Oh I’m not staying around for the entire term.
HOAWRD
That’s lazy.
BOBBY
NO IT’S NOT, I’M DYING, OKAY?
HOWARD
That’s not funny.
BOBBY
I know.
HOWARD
Then why are you joking about it?
BOBBY
I’m not. It’s true. Doctors say I’ll be lucky to make it to Inauguration Day.
HOWARD
Holy crap. I didn’t know.
BOBBY
I know you didn’t know.
HOWARD
You need to step down. It’s for your own good. And I am more than willing to step down too. I want to show you this isn’t just me trying to be President.
BOBBY
You are going to be President.
HOWARD
How many people have you told?
BOBBY
Just my close family and you. I don’t care what you’re thinking, you need to help me cover this up. This is going to be our secret.