LORENZO, ADAM, MADISON, SAM, LINCOLN, REAGAN, and CHASE are all at LORENZO’s house.
MADISON
Thanks for inviting us over here, Lorenzo.
LORENZO
You really think I want to spend another night on Adam’s couch? No thanks.
LINCOLN
Good luck Lorenzo. You’re gonna need it.
LORENZO
The first election was practically a tie.
LINCOLN
If it was the same people voting, the 0.03% who broke for a write-in would have to go to you by more than a two to one margin in order for you to win.
LORENZO
Well when you say it that way it sounds like I don’t have a chance!
ADAM
Quiet everyone, coverage is starting!
Everyone quiets down and stares at the TV for hours. LORENZO is declared the winner, 50.01% to 49.99%.
MADISON
Lorenzo, you won!
LORENZO
See, I always knew people still wanted to get a cotton candy beer with me.
SAM
Does it not bother anyone else that the person who arguably did the most damage is the only one who gets to keep their job?
REAGAN
Don’t be so negative Sam, let’s celebrate Lorenzo’s victory! So what are you gonna do in your next term?
LORENZO
Eh.
REAGAN
What do you mean, eh? This is exciting!
LORENZO
I have no friends left in Congress. Why should I even want to serve?
SAM
For the Indianian people.
LORENZO
Not like I’m helping them all that much.
ADAM
Whoa! Are you guys watching?! They just announced officially there was voter fraud in our elections!
REAGAN
Wait, WHAT?!
CHASE
And we still lost. Yikes. Just when I thought I was coping with my loss well.
REAGAN
Sure, we lost, but surely they can’t let the people who cheated serve!
LORENZO hears a loud pounding at the door.
LORENZO
Wonder who that could be.
LORENZO opens the door. Three police officers are standing outside.
POLICE OFFICER #1
Just who we were looking for. You have the right to remain silent.
LINCOLN
Hold up, what’s going on here?!
All three police officers walk into the house.
POLICE OFFICER #2
You ALL have the right to remain silent.
LORENZO
With all due respect…why are we being arrested?
POLICE OFFICER #3
We’ve received anonymous reports stating you all committed campaign finance abuse.
MADISON
We did no such thing! I bet our opponents are trying to get us arrested so that we can’t do a second term!
LORENZO
Just one question and then I SWEAR I promise that I’ll try to be quiet: can I still play baseball this summer?
POLICE OFFICER #1
Your trial won’t be for months. What you do between now and then doesn’t concern me.
LORENZO, ADAM, MADISON, SAM, LINCOLN, REAGAN, and CHASE are escorted into police cars.