DEVIN, ACE, MANNY, and FELIX are all sitting on the bench. HARRY is asleep behind the snack table.
ACE
Should we get Harry to wake up?
DEVIN
Up to Manny.
MANNY
It’s not up to me, I’m just the coach. Who you really need to talk to is Robert, and he’s on the mound pitching for one reason or another.
FELIX
Haven’t we already gone over this? Manny, you’re the coach. Robert is the bullpen captain, a made-up title. It’s your call.
MANNY
Let’s do this the regular way. All in favor of waking up Harry?
ACE and FELIX raise their hands.
MANNY
All opposed?
DEVIN raises his hand, as does MANNY.
ACE
That’s no fair! Why do you get a vote?!
DEVIN
Manny’s vote counts for double. Right Manny?
MANNY
How should I know?
ACE
Alright, let’s come up with a compromise.
DEVIN
No.
ACE
There goes that idea.
MANNY
I’m gonna figure this out once and for all.
MANNY jumps over the wall and walks onto the field in the middle of the inning. He approaches the mound.
MANNY
Hey Robert.
ROBERT lets out a shriek, startled by MANNY.
ROBERT
Didn’t expect to see you there. Look, I’ll find the strike zone eventually. I promise I’ll stop giving up runs as soon as they take me out.
MANNY
Yeah whatever. I need your take on something.
JASON, the pitching coach, runs to the mound.
JASON
Um, what’s going on here? Manny, you have no right to approach the mound like this.
MANNY
I need to ask Robert a question though!
JASON
And it’s so urgent that you had to interrupt the game?
MANNY
Yes! Harry is asleep and we can’t figure out if we want to wake him up or not. Devin and I think we should let him continue to sleep, while Ace and Felix want to wake him up. I think they’re hungry.
JASON
Is he breathing normally?
MANNY
Yeah. Robert is the tiebreaker vote.
ROBERT
Let him sleep.
JASON
Wait a minute! Don’t I have a say in this?! I say wake him up.
The HOME PLATE UMPIRE walks up to the mound.
HOME PLATE UMPIRE
You never called a time out. I’m here to break up this little meeting of yours.
JASON
We need your opinion on something. Our bullpen has someone sleeping in it, and we’re tied at three as to if we should wake him up or not.
HOME PLATE UMPIRE
What do I care? Wake him up I guess.
JASON
Thank you.
ROBERT
Are you kidding me ump???
HOME PLATE UMPIRE
My decision is final.
ROBERT
Well who gave you any say??? Look at the rule book. I’m not pitching until you look at it.
The HOME PLATE UMPIRE stares at him blankly.
ROBERT
Look at it! I won’t have this!!
MANNY
Robert, calm down.
ROBERT
Don’t tell me to calm down! That was a terrible decision!!
HOME PLATE UMPIRE
I’m warning you, don’t make me toss you from the game. You’re just upset because your pitching is bad.
ROBERT
Seriously? Your umpiring is worse.
The HOME PLATE UMPIRE makes a gesture that ejects ROBERT from the game. ROBERT walks back to the bullpen in disbelief.
The HOME PLATE UMPIRE hears a voice in the crowd.
VOICE IN CROWD
Let Robert stay in the game!
The person runs onto the field.
JASON
Lorenzo?! You’re not allowed to even be at the game. No fans allowed!
LORENZO
I sang God Bless America in the seventh inning stretch, remember?
JASON
Unfortunately.
LORENZO
Also I’m on the team again. Technically.
JASON
No you’re not, you’re not even wearing baseball clothes!
LORENZO
They had one more spot on the roster. It’s a nice way to make a few bucks on the side.
HOME PLATE UMPIRE
Really, this conversation needs to end. There’s supposed to be a game going on, remember?
LORENZO
Can I get tossed?
HOME PLATE UMPIRE
Huh?
LORENZO
It’d be pretty ironic if I got tossed from the game given I have no part in it.
HOME PLATE UMPIRE
Okay...you’re tossed.
LORENZO
Make the gesture.
The HOME PLATE UMPIRE makes a gesture to eject LORENZO.
LORENZO
Thanks!
LORENZO walks to the bullpen, as does MANNY. JASON walks back to the dugout.
MANNY
So is it true? You’re really on the team again?
LORENZO
Yeah. And I didn’t even have to try out! Guess they already know my level of talent.
FELIX
It’s not high.
LORENZO
I know. Good to see this place again.
LORENZO looks around and sees HARRY sleeping.
LORENZO
HARRY! WAKE UP! I’M HUNGRY!
HARRY wakes up, startled.
HARRY
Wow, for a second I thought I heard Lorenzo yelling at me to make him food.
FELIX
You did.
LORENZO
I’ll take a large hot dog, please.
HARRY
Coming right up, I suppose. Hey, isn’t it weird how there used to be six bullpen pitchers and now there’s only four?
ROBERT
Uh...I guess?
ACE
Lorenzo, what’s your position. Fourth-string first baseman?
LORENZO
I actually don’t know! Probably something like that.
DEVIN
You guys thinking what I’m thinking?
ROBERT
Let’s have a vote. All in favor of letting Lorenzo back into the bullpen?
MANNY
Looks like the game’s over. See you later everyone!
_________________
Lorenzo and Harry head back to Lorenzo’s Kitchen on Bar Exam Season 2 Episode 7. Click here to read!
Lorenzo and Harry head back to Lorenzo’s Kitchen on Bar Exam Season 2 Episode 7. Click here to read!