Setting: Office of HEIDI, the Santa Fe Primitives' Vice President of Food and Beverage. LORENZO, a former Indianapolis Primitives reliever and bullpen coach, was promised space to open a restaurant in the Primitives' new stadium in wake of his firing as bullpen coach.
HEIDI
Welcome Mr...
LORENZO
Lorenzo.
HEIDI
Mr. Lorenzo, it's an honor to meet you. I'm Heidi.
LORENZO
It's a horror -- I mean, honor to meet you too, Heidi!
HEIDI gives LORENZO a strange look.
HEIDI
There's just a few things I want to go over as we onboard Lorenzo's Kitchen to our portfolio of brands housed at PF.
LORENZO
PF?
HEIDI
Primitives Park.
LORENZO
Ah. I would've guessed pretty flour.
HEIDI
Pretty flour?
LORENZO
Only the finest colors used in this guy's cotton candy.
LORENZO points to himself.
HEIDI
Yeah...okay, so I think we're aligned on the topic of this conversation now.
LORENZO
What's your favorite flavor?
HEIDI
Excuse me?
LORENZO
Today, mine's lemon-lime meringue. Yesterday it was birthday cake. Tomorrow will be apple cider vinegar.
HEIDI
Apple cider vinegar?
LORENZO
Did I say apple cider vinegar? I meant salted caramel apple.
HEIDI looks bewildered.
LORENZO [grinning]
So, what's your favorite flavor of cotton candy?
HEIDI
The kind that optimizes profit.
LORENZO's grin fades.
HEIDI
That's what this meeting's about, Lorenzo. I need to make sure you're not gonna come in here and throw money down the drain.
LORENZO
What do you mean?
HEIDI
A lot of restaurants lose money at first before they make a profit. Many never turn a profit. I'm sure you're familiar.
LORENZO
Somewhat.
HEIDI
Well, Lorenzo's Kitchen will be profitable from Day 1.
LORENZO
Whatever you say.
LORENZO gets up to leave.
HEIDI
Did I sound finished?
LORENZO
Um...maybe? I know I was.
LORENZO shrugs.
HEIDI
Lorenzo, wait. I need to know that you're on board to make adjustments necessary so Lorenzo's Kitchen fits the Primitives Park brand.
LORENZO
Yeah, sure, whatever.
LORENZO signs the papers HEIDI places in front of him. HEIDI smiles.
HEIDI
You may go on your way now. Good luck.
LORENZO
You won't regret this. In fact, I'm gonna call up a few of my friends right now and tell them.
HEID
You really don't have to do that around me...
LORENZO immediately calls CHASE, ADAM, REAGAN, LINCOLN, MADISON, and SAM, six original core patrons of the first Lorenzo's Kitchen who, at the time, were studying to become lawyers. They had since served briefly in state Congress with Lorenzo and opened up their own law firm after passing the bar exam.
MADISON
You've reached the law office of Chase, Adam, Reagan, Lincoln, Madison, and Sam, how may I assist?
LORENZO
You guys really need a catchier name. And also, a receptionist.
MADISON
You were supposed to be our receptionist! And it's been like, three years! And also, you're alive!
LORENZO
That I am! Thought you'd like to know I started up another Lorenzo's Kitchen, right in the Santa Fe Primates ballpark!
HEIDI [muttering]
Primitives.
MADISON pauses.
LORENZO
Madison?
MADISON
You didn't sign anything yet, right?
LORENZO doesn't answer.
MADISON
Oh boy.