The Bridgeport Zebras are playing in the championship game against the Portland Lobsters at a major league stadium. The Zebras have a 3-0 lead headed into the ninth inning, and are making the call to the bullpen to close out the game. As soon as the bullpen phone rings, ELENA answers.
ELENA [on the phone]
You've reached Elena, speak now and regret leta'...Again? Alright.
ELENA [to TRISH]
Start warming up.
TRISH
Are you sure this is a good idea?
ELENA
Guess it's as good as any.
CAROLYN
Do they realize that Trish is...well. You know.
ELENA
Sucks at pitching, yeah, just don't give up three runs in one inning and you'll be the hero.
MELISSA
The other thing.
ELENA
Sucks at catching?
MELISSA
No, that's me.
ELENA
Sucks at--
TRISH
Enough! I'm banned from major league stadiums, technically. Ever since the fight. And the resistance of security that led to the arrest.
ELENA
Enough excuses, get warming up already.
TRISH
They could literally escort me right off the field if I go out there.
KATIE
I'd like to see them try.
TRISH
What are you trying to say, Katie?
KATIE
Nothing. Just that you're...physically tough.
TRISH
I'll go in the game, but if security goes after me it's your fault, Elena.
TRISH skips the warmups and goes straight into the game. She strikes the first two batters out.
VAL
She's doing pretty well, isn't she?
CAROLYN
I'll say.
ELENA
Why are they coming out to talk to her?
KRISTIN
I don't think that's the manager, Elena.
ELENA
It's the pitching coach? I wanted to do that!!
The bullpen watches as TRISH gets escorted off the field and into the dugout by security.
ELENA
Now what?
VAL
Hell if I know, you're the coach!
ELENA
Uh...
CAROLYN
I'll just go in.
CAROLYN starts to walk onto the field, but then sees another person already is on the mound. She looks around at the bullpen.
CAROLYN
Why is someone else already on the mound?
KATIE
That's impossible, we're all still here and Trish is probably back in jail.
MARISSA
Wait...is that even a woman?
VAL
Oh no.
KATIE
What?
VAL
I can recognize that guy from anywhere. That's Lorenzo from the Indianapolis Primitives. He used to terrorize me when I was a snack vendor there. Unintentionally. Great guy. But...oof.
ELENA
The guy who threw out the ceremonial first pitch that went slamming right into the ground?! That Lorenzo?!
VAL
Well if you'd watch the game, he's doing it again. I bet the network put them up to this. Poor guy.
The bullpen watches in awe as Lorenzo loads the bases and eventually gives up a grand slam, the ball landing right into Carolyn's hands.
VAL
An earned run average of infinity. Lorenzo is officially the worst pitcher in all of women's baseball. I could've told them that.
CAROLYN
At least I got the game ball?
ELENA
Look behind you.
CAROLYN sees a little kid in the front row behind the bullpen and reluctantly signs it and gives it away.
KATIE
So we really just lost the championship like that.
ELENA
Don't worry, we'll get 'em next year. Maybe.